Click to Subscribe
‘A Bitch in Stride’
Little Niki and Yolanda Bonnet in the Dope Zone
© 2018 James LaFond
APR/27/18
I was walking to lunch with Yolanda—an intern at my office, a beautiful, classy-looking black girl with pretty light skin and conservative fashion sense—when the normal lunch spot was blocked by a scramble.
It’s mind boggling that I know what a scramble is. It’s when five or ten crackheads are crawling round looking for a rock that dropped on the sidewalk or fighting over a crack pipe or what have you. So Yolanda grabs me and pulls me along past this alley. I look up the alley and there are a group of young white girls with sores all over their faces, firing heroin—this is 12:15 noon on a Tuesday mind you—and one girl pulls up her skirt and shoots up in her groin.
I almost hurled.
These are all white girls, mostly from outside of the city: somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister and if they’re ever going to be somebody’s mother that kid is going to be a mixed race orphan. It was a vision of hell. I don’t know how many times I use that term now, a vision of hell.
So Yolanda is marching me up to Lexington Market and I’m like, “Some white dude just got shot between the eyes up there for not paying his dealer enough—the cops told me to stay away from there.”
She tells me, “We’ve gotta lose this mutherfucker that’s following us with an orange in his mouth or I’m going to prison.”
And sure enough some big black guy with a whole arrange in his mouth is following us—I just wanted a sandwich! I’m in dress heels because the partners were in for a meeting and I’m falling behind. The dude is on my heels and then Yolanda turns and pulls out her mace and says, “Back the fuck off motherfucker or I will mace your ass—you can choke on that fucking orange, ոigger!”
The ghetto is coming out in her but luckily that black dude stepped away, his eyes all big and wide.
Oh, she was a bitch in stride, walked like a stone-faced killer, went from beauty queen to mugshot in a word.
All we have to do is make it around one more corner, just halfway to the Lexington Market—which is like this black hole you don’t want to go anywhere near—and we can get a sandwich. Then this junkie comes out from that alley—it’s like crossing in front of an alley down here, even during the day is something from a zombie movie—and he asks me for money and when I don’t say anything he calls me a bitch and she’s off into the mouth of the alley like an action star, pulling this little silver-looking pistol out of her purse and pointing it in his face and snarling, “Back the fuck off or I’m erasing your ass, bitch!”
What the heck is this world coming to, alright?
If it gets any worse every white woman working down town will have to pay a Yolanda to hold their hand just to get back and forth to work. As for lunch, I’m done. I’m on the zombie apocalypse mid-day fast diet.
-Niki
Narco Night Train
Paleface Sunset: A Guide to Cultural Resistance in the Age of Felonious
Ho Cadres Ramping Up
harm city to chicongo
‘God Bress!’
eBook
the greatest lie ever sold
eBook
all-power-fighting
eBook
fiction anthology one
eBook
sons of aryas
eBook
night city
eBook
on the overton railroad
eBook
the year the world took the z-pill
eBook
advent america
eBook
cracker-boy
eBook
honor among men
eBook
ranger?
eBook
thriving in bad places
eBook
beasts of aryas
eBook
book of nightmares
eBook
into leviathan’s maw
eBook
hate
eBook
your trojan whorse
eBook
the first boxers
eBook
fanatic
eBook
wife—
eBook
time & cosmos
eBook
the greatest boxer
eBook
blue eyed daughter of zeus
eBook
menthol rampage
eBook
logic of steel
eBook
on combat
eBook
within leviathan’s craw
eBook
orphan nation
eBook
logic of force
eBook
songs of aryas
eBook
the gods of boxing
eBook
america the brutal
eBook
broken dance
eBook
sorcerer!
eBook
uncle satan
eBook
barbarism versus civilization
eBook
song of the secret gardener
eBook
the sunset saga complete
eBook
triumph
eBook
let the world fend for itself
eBook
masculine axis
eBook
z-pill forever
eBook
winter of a fighting life
eBook
the combat space
eBook
when you're food
eBook
the fighting edge
eBook
dark, distant futures
eBook
by the wine dark sea
eBook
taboo you
eBook
under the god of things
eBook
predation
eBook
fate
eBook
solo boxing
eBook
son of a lesser god
eBook
the lesser angels of our nature
Bob     Apr 27, 2018

Dante's Inferno and still wearing high heels? Sneakers for the commute, Manolo Blahniks in the hand-bag.
LaMano     Apr 28, 2018

Other than a general feeling of "Good for Yolanda", I'm wondering if Yolanda couldn't do just as well with a good club (that would fit in a big purse) and some Lafond-type training in how to use it.

If she has an aggressive, I'll-handle-this mindset, her little nickel-plated Saturday Night Special is going to get her into more trouble than it will get her out of trouble, and a stick slashed or punched into the right place will take care of the kinds of things she appears to be facing there.

Drawing a gun on someone who's bad-mouthing you might get you in trouble even if you're a woman, EVEN in states like mine where a woman is assumed to be facing deadly force if assaulted by an unarmed man, and is allowed to shoot him.

We've seen Linda Hamilton "in action" on screen in a realistic scenario; can a woman with Yolanda's mindset reasonably be expected to defend herself against these threats with a good stick and the training to go with it .... ?
James     Apr 29, 2018

If I were foolish enough to advice Yolanda I would suggest a heavy hand umbrella and plenty of training hitting the bag with short sticks. I don't train women anymore—not in Baltimore.
Shep     Apr 28, 2018

'Landa is the Frank Frazetta pin-up girl for the LaFondiverse.
James     Apr 29, 2018

I agree—and I have actually declined meeting her on the basis of my affinity for such savage wenches. I've got 5o more books to write and don't need to be stroking out to the sounds of "Dat's it, Daddy."
  Add a new comment below:
Name
Email
Message