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Beat USA
Oliver Wendell Hayes is on the Case


Oliver: Hey, what’s up, James. How are things out in Never-Never Land?

James: It’s kind of weird being the only black man in town.

[laughter]

Oliver: So you’re in Portland?

James: Yeah—there is an avalanche of unsecured pussy out here. The locals are even nice to pedestrians.

Oliver: What!?

James: You know how motorists will run your ass over in Maryland, Jersey and New York?

Oliver: Yeah.

James: Well, out here, even if you are on a four-lane street, and you’re not at a crosswalk, you have to be careful when you stop on the curb to check and see if it’s safe to cross, because all four lanes will stop and wave you across. At first I thought maybe it was a cruel game and they were going to run me over—but no, these people are terminally kind. The Russians should definitely invade here first. How about that gorgeous girl from Toronto—you fuck that up yet?

Oliver: She’s still hanging in there.

James: How is your site?

Oliver: You know, I’m interviewing amateur fighters for my new site and sparring with them on video. Could I list you as a writer?

James: Sure man—but no current events. Send me an email with a word count and subject and a text so I can go to a bar and check for the message and I’ll send the article back.

Oliver...

Hey James

Inbox

Fri, Jan 18, 9:43 PM (3 days ago)

Great talking to you again. The site is https://usabeat.org it's up right now but if you post the article monday or Tuesday ish i should have everything in place.

Will definitively keep in touch. Thanks again!

-Oliver

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