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A Crackpot Book

Copyright 2022 James LaFond

Lynn Lockhart Publisher

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On Monday, November 7, 2022, the most prolific living writer, a homeless vagrant, went to a dive bar in Portland, Oregon to use the wifi to check his emails for the first time since August 4. Having experienced 10 weeks of excellent eye health, and completing writing 19 books in 10 months and editing 9 in two weeks, the unique structure of email and website text, which he had not been exposed to for months, exploded his vision.

The following dialogues will mark the final engagement of James LaFond with the tiny and brilliant readership responsible for sparking many of his inquires. The first four dialogues are written from memory and three word prompts scrawled on the back of a bar receipt. The remainder of the dialogues will be written from prompts forwarded to Lynn Lockhart, who has been kind enough to reproduce them in a font readable for LaFond.

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To the Reader

It has been an honor to be engaged through my email box by readers these past 11 years. I did not realize until today, that the oddly good eye health I enjoyed in Utah, over 10 weeks, which permitted me to write 7 books and edit 9, was in large part due to not having to struggle with the type style, font size, spacing, coloring and background of email and of website texts.

If I cannot read it in a 16 point sans font, I will look away to save my eyes for work. Yes, I am a boomer tech tard. Using the magnifying glass thing and scrolling strains my bad eye, which is ironically my good eye. This seems to have been a fortuitous test of will, this office space disaster. For, before leaving for the bar to use the wifi, I shared two cups of coffee with my host, who actually tried to convince me that I should give up writing in favor of a return to living to eat as a retail food clerk or janitorial functionary. I had reiterated to him what I had told my brother in late July, that the only reason I have consented to remaining among the brainwashed damned, is on the condition that I may write. Writing is my parting negotiation with the world that I hate, the world that ate me.

I have read my last email. They will be forwarded to Lynn henceforth, to be returned, upon her discretion, as text attachments. I apologize for this rudeness. It is quite bad enough that I have declined to read comments on the site that bears my name for some two years now. I do not even read those that the webmaster sends texts of to me. I regard the comment function on the site to have nothing to do with me or my writing, but a courtesy for readers to be able to communicate with each other concerning my literary misbehavior.

Additionally, although I no longer view videos or read site links, I have been in the habit of posting such links sent by readers. Again, my attempt at this courtesy is now at an end due to the eye problems. I tried copying and pasting some emailed links and it was too much.

So goes the end of the Crackpot Mailbox experiment. My final dialogues will post in May and June. As of December 26 I will limit my use of emails to thanking readers for purchases and donations and deleting solicitations by publishing agents, hookers and other scam artists. Emails from readers, writers, fighters and others will simply remain there unopened. The only emails I will read will be those sent by the webmaster and editor.

The final phase of this writing experiment by a special ed student who failed 9th grade three times will consist of writing only:

-Novels

-Histories

-Observations

I realize that I have developed a great deal of information pertinent to combat training. I apologize for abandoning this subject and of self-help books and articles in general. Hopefully something on this website or in the books already written will answer your inquiry. I have not increased my knowledge of these matters since 2020 and continuing to write upon them would be a redundancy.

As for the four failed emails from today:

Zack

Sorry to hear your buddy lost his eye. I get my eye patches at drug stores for about $10. they are so tight they hurt, so the elastic will needs be broken in. Mary Biscotti did send me a leather eye patch she picked up at a renaissance festival which is more comfortable but less practical while active. The soft eye patches I have worn sometimes were designed by a former girlfriend who I have no contact with.

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John North

Your website looks so cool. I wish I could have read it. I can read something and review it if you send it to me in 16 point lucida sans. The eye strain for me to convert a document to a readable text is as bad as trying to read the original. If we meet I will be glad to train stick with you.

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Smart Ron the Science Guy

I have not lived in Baltimore since June 2018. I am homeless. I have generally been in the East from May thru July. At such times I spend about 10 days a month in Baltimore. My entire family has been driven from our ancestral city, I being the last in 2018. I am honored that you wanted to treat me to dinner and a beer at the Inner Harbor. From either of the two locations in Baltimore where I am still welcome, it is an easy bus ride for me to get to the Inner Harbor, about 45 minutes one way.

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Bedford

Your inquiry about throwing spears is fascinating and I will answer this in a full length article to be posted in history in May. This will be part of the book Shrouds of Aryas. Do note, that I devoted 7 chapters to this question in the book Songs of Aryas, to go up for sale as a site e-store exclusive, this coming January. The free postings of this series of articles subtitled Cover, are scheduled to post in February.

Thank you all.

James, Portland, Oregon, Monday November 7 2022