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‘He Thinks Groups Are Weak’
The Misfit Author is Taken to Task By A Man
© 2015 James LaFond
MAR/8/15
Interestingly some of my most read articles are ‘pretty messy’ pieces that no editor would have posted as is; often rambling rants inspired by a reader who sends me an article or who asked me a question that gets me going. In the following comment to ‘I’ll Always Be A Gringo’ a reader, Kuhn Twerk, gives up on this old crackpot having anything worthwhile to say.
The statement itself is very interesting in that there seems to be an implication that ‘James LaFond is supposed to have answers to people’s problems!’ The notion strikes my funny bone as I am a Darwinist who does not believe in fixing social ills or making the world a better place, but letting the weak Fall!
Without further ado, I give you my best critic thus far, Kuhn Twerk, a man who I know zero about, but who is possessed of some boxing knowledge:
“Well after reading this mess.....I'm done here. He may think forming groups is "weak"....but Lone Wolves accomplish nothing and get fucked in the ass. There are no answers here.”
Kuhn, you provide an excellent opportunity for clarification. Thank you.
In the context that I lived it in my teens and 20s, joining violent groups who wanted me to be the risk-taking front man while they manipulated me and cheered me on, planted in my mind the opinion that forming a group was not a weak answer, but the answer of the weak.
That was a personal experience-based assessment, not an overarching opinion. Indeed, for any group to form there must be a strong individual for it to form around. I knew myself not to be that strong individual. But rather a weakling that had clawed my way into a position that only appeared strong, and was therefore not suitable material for the nexus of a forming group. Socially my skill set was so dismal that I would have been used as a pawn and a fall guy. I had no ability to lead, and to this day lack these leadership characteristics. My gut feelings as a loner in my 20s do not equate 1-for-1 to my considered opinion as a coach in my 50s, but rather linger to lend perspective and help me advise alienated youths today.
And what do I advise? Joining a group! I will coach these young men one-on-one and mentor them. But if they do not already belong to a gym or a school I find them one—one that fits their unique needs and those of the group. Ask Cory who I took to a karate school, Erique who I took to an MMA gym, Glen who I took to an FMA school, Dom who I just advised to rejoin a BJJ club, Dante who I took to a boxing gym, etc.
I realize that I am an odd ball who lives in his own mind to an unusual degree and that my own 'taboo' lifeway is unsuitable for the vast majority of men. If Jack Donovan sold 3,000 copies of The Way of Men, then Taboo You should only sell 30 copies. It's a book about successfully being a misfit, not a book advocating in any way the misfit course. By following my taboo misfit course I have helped build many groups by guiding people similar to—but less defective than—I into those groups, to the benefit of those groups to which I do not belong.
I also don't believe in 'lone wolves' [and neither would any wolf researcher] as my life when lived that way was very marginal. Note: I was not 'fucked in the ass', but rather found my options for growth limited. The only group that ever successfully attacked me was one I belonged to as a loyal member. My cousin was nearly killed and left for dead—ambushed in a friend's house by friends—by a group he belonged to, because he would not attack random black women and children. This left a bad taste in my mental mouth about joining groups.
However, I see their necessity and have networked successfully with many groups for mutual benefit. It took me time, living as a loner [who has never been successfully attacked by groups of strangers] to develop the skills to associate with groups, often as an intermediary. For instance Kuhn, I have served as a boxing coach for up to 5 schools and gyms at the same time. Rather than join, or act as a 'spy', I have acted as an emissary of sorts, arranging for sparring sessions, medical care, employment etc. I have fought at charity events and funerals to benefit groups I do not belong to because of a personal debt I owed the leader of that group. I am currently in a state of moral debt to seven leaders of various martial arts groups, and they know I will come when they call. And I Kuhn, am not even a martial artist, but simply a coaching fighter who keeps his word.
I must agree Khun that there are no answers here. This is merely a format for one man's expression. The answers are out there, and I have tended to find them alone, in association with groups, such as the karate school where I am headed off to coach today; a school that I am not a member of, that practices a hierarchal art that I do not practice, but never-the-less finds a use for an individual with my skill set who keeps his word, because he values something that is bigger than any group.
As for lone wolf accomplishments, check out ‘A Man Among Men’, for an example of that extremely rare man who can pull off the lone wolf gambit.
As for a perspective that does not promote the 'lone-wolf' lifeway, try one of the 1,600 articles also available on this site, written by this knucklehead, that offer no such perspective.
Thanks for your time and I hope you find your answer Kuhn.
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