If you, like I, am an endangered white urban ape, there is a formula for determining the likelihood that you will be confronted by a hoodrat buck or brave. The point scale below is cumulative. The higher the score, the greater the likely hood of violent encounters. Thus far Baltimore does not have a criminal Latino population. Therefore this guide is only valid in urban areas without a significant violent Latino population.
Over 99% of violent crime in Baltimore is committed by blacks. Therefore, your best indicator of a potential violent monthly encounter is the percentage of the population that is black, plus the indicated points for each additional factor. This scale is set monthly, as the hoodrat economy is a monthly affair, with no government money being pumped into the drug world between the 17th and 31st. Therefore, most encounters should happen in the latter half of the month.
For instance, if you live in an area that has 99% black population and is within walking distance [1 mile] of a Wal-Mart, you have a 109% chance of witnessing or being the object of a black or police act of violence. Violence includes verbal threats and harassment, panhandling, stalking, chasing, arrest, breaking and entering, etc.
Once you have determined your baseline black population percentage, add the following points for the following conditions.
10: within 1 mile of a Wal-Mart
2: any non ethnic retail store within 3 blocks that is owned by an Asian, Middle-eastern or African. If an African is running an Ethiopian eatery, that does not count. But if he is selling cell-phones, that means the place is too dangerous for whites or blacks to do it. Whites are targeted as easy prey and blacks are betrayed by friends, relatives and employees, with both being run out of business in majority black areas.
-3: for any such establishment owned by a black or white in the same radius
1: for each corporate retail outlet, such as a drug store, dollar store, 7-11, etc.
5: for any black drinking establishment within 3 blocks
-1: for every mixed race bar within 3 blocks
-2 for every white bar within 3 blocks
-trash in the street, gutters
-trash in yards and on sidewalks
-rats seen at night
-discarded alcohol containers
-old crime scene tape [meaning the cops don’t even clean up the scene when they are done]
-dead cats and dogs left on the sidewalk
-missing dog poster
-for every bus line that services the area within a half mile radius
-drug dealing, per stoop or corner, or distribution center like a crack-house
-street vending, such as selling sneakers out of cars, which has been going on all over Baltimore since the riots. This morning I walked by a car stopped in the middle of side street with locals standing by the open doors trying on shoes and haggling over prices.
-sex in public, indicated by condoms on the sidewalk and in gutters
-shooting up and smoking crack in public, indicated by crack vials and syringes on the sidewalks and in the gutters
-men going shirtless
-illegal vehicles, like ATVs and dirt bikes, being ridden on the streets
-people walking in the middle of the street
-people standing in the middle of the street
-hookers walking the street
-rats seen during daylight hours
-police helicopter overhead more than once per week
-police sirens more than once per day [A siren means it’s bad. They usually just use lights]
-men sleeping in the open
-men walking pit bulls or rots
-panhandler established on a corner, with or without a sign
-dice games in alleys or on sidewalks
-drinking in public, paper bag or not
-fat tattooed white women wearing spandex and flip-flops, leading broods of mixed race children [usually during the first half of the month]
-junkies nodding out
Add up your score and round it to the nearest 10. If your score is 150 than you should be treated to 1.5 opportunities to be stalked, harassed, threatened, attacked, arrested, or to see an act of violence, per month.