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Dindu Noon?
Breaking the Hoodrat Mold in Harm City

In Baltimore City and Baltimore County, blatant daylight robberies of stores, banks and individuals, have gone from rare to commonplace over the last months. On Wednesday afternoon, outside of the suburban liquor store, where I have been marked numerous times, a paleface was beaten and robbed by a team of three Reparations Recovery Agents. Our dysgenic predators are somehow evolving.

Few folks go out on foot any longer after dark. Police have recommended staying indoors and most pedestrians are heeding this advice, including this old codger, who does not want to become the next Z-Man, standing over a bowl of spilled skittles.

Elderly people and lone adults on foot are avoiding commercial centers after 2 p.m., when the innocent unarmed youth of Harm City begin leaving school.

A reader in Israel told me he met a recent immigrant from Baltimore, who claimed harm city was ‘the gateway.’

The reader thought to himself, “What, the gateway to Hell?”

But the older man clarified that Harm City was “the gateway to Israel!”

Interestingly enough, over the past two weeks, beginning around the 1st of October, junior high school and high school age youths have been patrolling Hamilton and Parkville between noon and 2 p.m. Once again, I did not see this coming. This is an unprecedented break with Dindu tradition. Normally the early afternoon hours are devoted to getting high and playing video games. But apparently the Hunt for Whitey provides the stimuli of a video game and the peace of mind of well-smoked weed!

Perhaps Cheek and Chong should be remade as a blacksploitation stoner flick…

“Cheeks en Dong?”

On Bitches

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BOctober 15, 2016 11:00 PM UTC

Oh, no, I straight up asked him if he meant the gateway to hell. He didn't even blink.