You came here looking for the truth? You can’t handle the truth!
The truth is you’re stupid and you’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
You know Jeremy, this is not new news. I always wondered why every time I went to Pennsylvania or Virginia or even Trump forsaken Delaware, why all the women looked so good. Hell, when I go out of town I'm like a one-eyed dog in the proverbial meat market. Last night, when Oliver got back from Italy, he said, "James, I've never seen so many attractive women—I mean really beautiful."
So I clued him in, "That's because you live in Baltimore!"
Thank you, Jeremy, for validating my conviction. Now excuse me while I take a stroll and check out some ugly bitches.