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Time Travel Rocks!
By Professor dy/dx
© 2017 Professor dy/dx
SEP/11/17
Trust me on this one – I’m a scientist of sorts, maybe not a good one though. Yet, on the question of time travel, I’m right and the rest of the physics and philosophy community is wrong. Have a good whiskey, collapse in your rocking chair, and let’s talk about your favorite topic, theoretical physics.
When half drunk, I like to speculate about how with time travel we could save the West, and White race. Go back in time and take out all the cuոts responsible for this bullshit. With a group of a couple of hundred men, armed with modern semi-auto rifles, and a shipping container of ammo and spare parts, it should be possible to change history. I think the problem goes back thousands of years, so a lot of history would need to be changed. Crush all forms of universalism before the parasitic mind fungi can grow. But, here is the problem, known as the “Grandfather Paradox.”
If changing the past was possible, one could kill one’s ancestors, leading to one’s own demise, leading to the time trip never occurring. Paradoxical causal loops are generated. Hence, even physics geeks who think that General Relativity allows restricted time travel, with closed time-like curves to some solutions to mind-numbing equations, always postulate some blocking or censorship mechanism stopping the Grandfather Paradox arising. Here read this:
On Stephen Hawking’s chronology protection conjecture: I am sure that everybody, at this point has cum in their pants.
Anyway, to my mind, this is all ad hoc. Nothing stops me, from say shooting Jesus, or St. Paul, even, horror of horrors, if I am a descendent of either. There is no logical contradiction. Here is why.
If time travel occurs, it is clear that the laws of physics and logic, are no longer as we thought them to be. After all, there is some thought that quantum mechanics violates basic arithmetic, let alone fundamental logic principles:
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Ok, now you know why I am so fuckin’ mad, apart from my fat wife, who does not fuck, who wastes my money and keeps me working on this frog shit.
Anyway, in time travel what happens is that the traveller leaves the stream of time, and hops back to another part of the river of time. Even if he kills an ancestor, there is nothing to kill him, no physical force. To say that time travel itself does it is to beg the question. To say that it is logically inconsistent to propose that one can alter the past, is objectionable as well, as all time travel by definition alters the past. Back in Jesus’s day, I did not exist, but here I am about to waste him. Wait, he didn’t exist:
OK, don’t let small existential details worry our argument, because Christians don’t either. Let’s just run with Jesus being my ancestor:
So, what happens when my “ancestor,” Jesus, is killed by me? Nothing. This fat alcoholic, academic loser physicist cum time travelling sniper, we suppose, simply walks away, to get drunk and mix it with dark and swarthy ancient hookers, contracting ancient strains of VD. He does not disappear, however diseased his genitalia may be. History now changes, and time lines are rewritten. If he has destroyed his chronological roots, then back in 2017, he will not exist. But, given that the time traveller does not exist at that time anyway, that does not matter. If he returns to 2017, he may find a changed world, where he does not exist, and hopefully, many other cuոts do not as well. He is now a “chronological orphan,” my brilliant term, but he still exists. No contradictions here.
Look, I can prove this with a mathematical model, if you like? What’s that? Go fuck myself? Ok, sorry I asked. Look, if the physics journals would only let me say “fuck” I would be happy, and I would leave you all alone to drink quietly in your basement.
No more tangents; focus prof, fight the alcohol raging in your neuron net. Ok, what if he finds that he does exist in 2017, so that there are now two of him there? No object can exist in two distinct places, can it? That was supposed to be an a priori truth that generations of philosophers jacked off over, if these micro-penis wankers are capable of this. Yet, the proposition is false; trust me, I’m a physics geek; quantum mechanics show that it is. That’s even better than saying that it is in the bible, because quantum mechanics is true, while the bible is just, well read this: Don’t worry, jeeps get buried in the desert sands all of the time and found, so the kingdom of David Solomon will be uncovered next week. Ok, off to Sunday school then.
It was not possible to contemplate space travel before the theoretical possibility of it was contemplated. Likewise, for time travel. If it really is a goer, then research now needs to be conducted in how to practically achieve it, so that a “Terminator” mission can be conducted to change the putrid world we are now dying in. I volunteer to go, even if there were the remote possibility of a space-time paradox arising which would destroy the multiverse, an infinite number of times over. Hyper-infinite damnation for a meta-eternity is a small price to pay to end this shit hole. Cosmic hell is no big deal, compared to all of this.
Turd America
Trumpapocalypse Now: The Advent of an American Usurper at the fall of Western Civilization
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PR     Sep 12, 2017

Obviously a drunk post. 0/10 see me, Professor.
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