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The Bitch Test
How Emasculated Are You?
© 2015 James LaFond
DEC/16/15
You go to the pharmacy to get a scrip filled and the pharmacist, who has no other customers, and is free to slide your Z-PAC of antibiotics off the shelf and into your hand, informs you that he may not complete your transaction for another 20 minutes, for it is company policy. This is, of course, the policy of pharmacies and supermarkets with pharmacies, who need to pay the rent and thus want you to support their bid to stay in business and continue employing low-IQ slackers, by buying your tea bags and honey from them while your order is “being processed.”
Do you:
A. Conclude the first phase of the transaction in such a way as to insure good honest treatment from this pharmacist in the future and then go next door to grab a pint, a salad, a babe, a game of pool, etc.
B. Stew angrily over the injustice done you by the money grubbing retailer’s policy.
C. Rail at the pharmacist, complain, and /or try to get them to make an exception in your case.
D. Stung by the injustice of this policy you seek to convince the retailer to change its policy for the greater good and devote yourself to a letter-writing, phone-calling, blogging, face-booking and politicking campaign to convince the retailer to change its evil ways.
E. Understanding that the true root of this evil imposition upon your health is beyond the scope of ‘the market’ you campaign to have a law passed that will bar drug sellers with other goods to sell from making a customer wait for the customary length time.
How Did You Score?
A. Man: You area tactically thinking man who deals with the world rather than call for the world to change. If you were a Paleolithic hunter you would not waste time beseeching the gods to remove the claws and teeth from rival predators or whine into the uncaring sky that it is unfair that stags bound so swiftly over the heather while you must creep, stalk and wait in order to kill them, because the sky is your daddy and should provide for you…
B. Civilized Man: Your natural tactical mindset has been so submerged in the corrupt crybaby incubator of weakness that is Civilization, that you waste valuable energy and mental powers on bringing your anger under control. If you were a Paleolithic hunter that reacted with anger when a bison turned out to be swifter than the run of the herd, you would be left biting your lip while better men adjusted to the situation and brought down the beast that would feed the clan for a moon—while you sulked and were therefore left comforting yourself with your calloused hand while they laid with the grateful women…
C. Drone: You are the tittering disposable insect of the great hive, pining to mate with and be eaten headfirst by the merciless queen. If you were a member of a Paleolithic tribe you would be left at home with the women and children, denied mating rights, and your pathetic genes would embrace oblivion...
D. Bitch: You are a bitch. If you were a member of a Paleolithic society you would be made to live as a woman, and every time you opened your mouth to complain about something there would therein be a reproductive device inserted to muffle your irritating babble.
E. Psychobitch: You are the most savage and unpleasant type of female imitator, that upon which the progress of the hive mind is built. Your inability to deal with anything in its natural state and condition has resulted in your unholy yearning to change the world and mould it into something you can easily manage. If you were a goddess the altars of your priests would run red. If you were a member of a Paleolithic band you would be ostracized and left in the wilderness for the night spirits to deal with, your plaintive shrieking preserved by the mournful Wind as she wailed over the waste to remind future generations of women of the fate of she who complains inconsolably.
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Sean     Dec 16, 2015

Ha just had this happen actually. I chose to play games with my 3 year old until the time had passed.
Goose     Dec 16, 2015

Some other options I've used:

A+ : develop a personal connection with the pharmacist (and try convincing him to bend the store policy when noone is around)

F: use an independent farmacy that doesn't have the money-grabbing policy

G: stay healthy and not use any drugs, especially for sickness that the body/immune system can handle on its own - colds, flus, muscle aches etc.

How would they translate to the Paleolithese?
Hank A     Dec 16, 2015

Wow.... does anybody even consider options b-e? It seems like lunacy
O Hayes     Dec 16, 2015

I do F. Unless i'm dying the prescription can wait. So i just drop it off and pick it back up whenever i'm passing back by. Fuck meds anyway
Sam J.     Dec 16, 2015

I don't think I've ever had this happen. I would just go somewhere else. If the bison are not in the field why stay there?
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