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When Your Helper Drives Your Truck Stoned
Primordial Human Resources Development With Dante Justine #2
“Okay, so I tell Ryan, after beating Jesse’s ass and firing him, that I’ll get him a helper. So I hire Joe.
"Joe’s a guy.
"Joe don’t know shit.
"Joe’s about to learn some shit.
"I see Joe after his shift and he says, ‘Hey, I knew you were laid back, but didn’t realize you let dudes huff computer cleaner and drive your truck high.'
"So here we go, more life lessons for the unenlightened help…”
“I’m looking for Ryan, right, because I’m going to beat his ass. And Joe is going to see it. He’s going to know what the deal is.
"That is my truck, my insurance.
"You mess with my equipment you mess with my livelihood.
"You mess with my livelihood and you mess with my beautiful little girl here [2 year-old daughter on lap].
"You mess with my daughter—well now…”
“And what do you know? Good old Ryan calls me from jail. Ryan’s dumbass has run into somebody with my truck and he wants me to forward his pay to his wife so he can make bail. I said, ‘Look, dumbass getting locked up was the best thing you ever did. You just avoided a beating. So just stay in there and think. In the mean time I have a lesson for you to learn.”
“That was Thursday. I work with Joe on Friday. He wants to know about Ryan. I said, ‘You’ll see on Monday.’”
“Friday night comes and good old Dante stops by Ryan’s place and takes his old lady out on a date. Now she was kind of rough, and it took her a while to get into it with me videotaping it. In fact, you could say that it was harder on me than it was on her. But a man does what a man has to do. I end up getting her on video blowing me for two hours.”
Dante is currently hiring. If you box three rounds with him before your first shift you start at top rate. If you would like to bring your wife along to the interview he’s fine with that. He is also available for motivational speaking engagements from December through February. He doesn’t do snow removal anymore. Kicking the shit out of your help is apparently an inconvenience in slippery conditions…
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Adam SwinderSep 23, 2013

Reading stories like this is what truly recalibrates my Weird-Shit-O-Meter.
prOct 25, 2017

We complain about immigrants but this is the reality of employing Americans at the bottom of the wage scale and labor pool. Of course, the government gives white poors "disability" and black poors welfare so they don't have to develop any skills or think about the future. It's one big inverse plantation.
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