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‘Letin’ The Trash Takeout The Trash’
A Fathers' Day Movie Idea: The Baytown Outlaws by Barry Battles
© 2013 James LaFond
2014 Update: I just watched this movie for the third time and still enjoyed it. I can't believe something this politically incorrect got made in 2012, and that the politically incorrect masculinity crowd has not heard of it. Check it out.
This 2012 movie that I never heard of features Billy Bob Thornton as a drug kingpin who describes his operation as “the Wal-Mart of bottom dollar crime”.
Eva Longoria is a manipulative babe in distress. A member of the cast of The Wire plays a cool black Alabama redneck sheriff. And three unknown guys play a trio of semi-retarded stash-house crashers who show a little too much initiative for their own good. The soundtrack was sparse but awesome. The writing and acting was all very good, with some of my favorite lines below:
“Speak American”
“How come she’s not naked?”
“My bad” [to the corpse of a maid caught in a crossfire] “In my defense you do work for an asshole.”
“You a tard-whisperer?”
“Five whore assassins, three retards and a cripple!”
In one great road-warrior type scene while Brick, Lincoln and McQueen drive down the highway exchanging gunfire with a monster truck load of Nubian bad-asses, a county cop on the side of the road flips on his siren to pursue. The veteran cop next to him switches it off and says, “No, no indeed—hell no!”
One of the best things about this movie was that the good guys were white trash and the evil enemies included a black gang, a multi-racial anime cycle-slut gang, and a gang of Native American bikers who use bows and arrows and scalping knives! In a world where Native Americans may only be depicted as reluctant tree-hugging super warriors with the repose of the Dali Lama and the wisdom of Jesus Christ, this was a welcome change.
By the end the white trash trio has grown on you to the point where you are no longer resigned to their death. Along the way there are some nasty Hispanics, some nice Hispanics, a couple of other well done character actors, and a bar owner named Lucky, who makes the funniest sandwich in cinema.
If you are under 40 you will love it. If you are an older white trash retard, you will like it even more, and might even find it a worthy occasion to drink up your last beer, on Wednesday.
Like all of my movie recommendations, I take no responsibility for the stock Hollywood sequel-friendly happy ending slapped on the end of anything marketed to an American Audience.
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