All of the inmates of the lunatic asylum were distressed that my article, “The Jurisprudence of Soiled Panties” did not surface, because we all really liked the title, which made us look clever (?), and lawyers, gooses. It took a whole day for the team of inane insanes to work out, and I even had to look up the word “jurisprudence” in what is called a “dictionary,” a place where dicks are kept. But, not to worry, because apart from having a fetish for stealing the soiled panties of pretty girls with loose bowels, my next best trick is snorting condoms up my nose, and in fact, I am doing it as I type:

We can be sure that Western civilization is in safe hands… eh…snouts…and vaginas: