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The Truth about Toilet Paper
Not by Stefan Molyneux, But by a Guy Who Would Make Him Cry—the Ghetto Grocer!
Stefan Molyneux is the most accomplished liar of our time, in that he did an exposition on the Michael Brown killing that actually looked at all available facts and just left it at that. That was his breakthrough video. Then he started doing the truth about this and that and started to insert non-facts into a field of facts to craft a narrative for the viewers. I can only imagine what this asshole is saying about the toilet paper shortage right now.
Here it goes, from a Negro who knows!
During the Arab Oil Embargo of the early 1970s I recall a news story heard at my Grandparent’s apartment, in the Fenwick Apartments where they lived downstairs from Frank Zappa’s brother, that there was a toilet paper shortage expected and Grandpa Kern told my dad, “Well, Ted, you’re going to have to teach them how to fold it over after they wipe and use it again!”
What I learned in the grocery business was that people are funny about what touches their nether eye. Indeed, Charmin, the bestselling toilet paper, used to come in white, yellow and blue, and pink and green, which always sucked because with equal parts of mismatched colors, a clerk would have boxes of left over green and blue and always be out of pink and yellow. Fortunately, toxic shock syndrome concerns took dyes out of toilet paper and got us dealing with only one color, no prints or pastels either! The manufacturers intentionally put 12 rolls of pink and 12 of green together in a 24-pack case, knowing that pink outsold green by 8-1, forcing us to gag on unsalable overstock. It is hilarious that white toilet paper outperformed all POCs [Papers Of Color] even as the pallid race that invented it got bred down into sissydom.
People with hairy asses and ebony queens who use T.P. to clean their brillo patch, demand Scott tissue because it does not get gummed up in pubic and anal hair or African SOS pads.
This feeds into traditional T.P. panics which we will get to below.
People with soft skin like and hate certain kinds of paper.
Many women will wrap half a roll of T.P. around their hand just to dab their pussy after urinating. Typically men use 2 rolls per week and women use 2 rolls per day.
Why is toilet paper still barely reaching stores and when it does, why does it gets picked off so quickly?
One thing that is happening is that store employees are buying it before it can get onto the shelves. Stock clerks now have high hygiene status!
All of the factors were in place as long as I can remember, and any bump in the business road would cause a toilet paper shortage.
It starts with the insanity of brand loyalty, an operational delusion implanted into your midgetized American brain from childhood, that lies are true, the truth is something to be undermined with lies and that the most beautiful lies are the most holy.
Toilet paper is bulky, so minimal back stock per unit is the rule.
As a brand loyalty store of delusional value, branded toilet paper has a profit margin that is typically less than the cost of handling it. The wholesaler makes his 6% and the manufacturer makes 300% and the retailer gets screwed.
As an independent retailer, the young men would be charged with “throwing” cases of paper [with only the strongest able to heave the 100 roll case of individually wrapped Scott T.P.] up onto the 14 foot balcony where we stored paper between orders to pack out the shelves between truck days—the least profitable item causing the most work, most workplace danger, and taking up the most space. So, from shelf, to stockroom to warehouse, no one in the supply chain wants to have this stuff on hand in quantity because it will shut down your operation.
On top of this is the “scan option” scam used by manufacturers of high brand loyalty products with no retail margin like paper goods and Tide detergent. Say I order 100 cases of Tide and 50 cases get rung out through the register during the sale week. The 50 cases that are left over I bought at regular price! So I can’t keep them out at a reduced price, but only when advertised in my weekly circular, a way of transferring advertising costs to the retailer. So, a bottle of Tide that was on sale for $6.99 and regularly sold for $9.99 cost me $9.64, with 1 in 10 being stolen by hoodrats to resell to ghetto mamas…
Do the math, please, because I can’t.
That is another subject. But let’s say I’m dealing with Scott 12-pack T.P. on sale for half price, and I order 17 pallets and only sell 15 pallets, then I have a quarter of my stockroom filled up until this shit paper comes on sale again, because with such items that sell for half price when on scan option sale, customers only buy it on sale and stock up at the competition when your supply is back to the regular price. If I honor rain checks I lose my ass, so I’m dedicated to tracking sales accurately so I don’t have T.P. pallets jamming the backroom with money-losing product and don’t lose my customers or my ass by selling out. My man Tyrone had like a dozen girlfriends and female relatives for whom he would hide Scott T.P. on the warehouse racks and bring it to them from the backroom when it was on sale.
Employees would always be stashing “their T.P.” in the backroom during a sale. Forget about a snow scare—that’s a brawl. Even the manufacturers do not keep a mass of this shit paper on hand because it takes up so much space.
One interesting thing here is the fact that retail food people are so fucking stupid that they never started selling the other toilet paper and paper towels they buy one to five times a week!
Whether this stuff comes in through the chain’s warehouse or is bought by the independent grocer from a company like Fiber Products in Maryland, food retailers do not let their employees wipe their ass with Charmin but with the same stuff that is delivered to restaurants and bars.
Coincidentally all supermarkets I had worked in have accounts with a restaurant supply house. Only Mike down at Harvest Fare and I retailed this stuff and I kicked his ass, thank you! I used to sell all kinds of institutional products, even those not having a UPC—which is against most retailer policies and since no one can use a magic marker or a pricing gun, those being abandoned technologies, my staff would always moan and groan when I started selling restaurant supply items. I can only imagine the roadblocks to retailing this stuff in a chain outfit, where the bitch-storm gate-keepers take care of the product authorization and enter codes for purchase scanning.
So, here were are, restaurants going out of business and their suppliers shutting down operations and no one has gotten the bright idea to sell large rolls of T.P. from grocery stores, even though those very retailers have open billing accounts with and accept regular deliveries from, suppliers of institutional paper products which are just sitting in a warehouse.
We, the greatest nation in human history, according to all of our politicians and historians, are not even capable of washing our hands and wiping our asses and therefore richly deserve the wickedness that is slowly ramping up to roll this way and pave our sissy soul-crush of a civilization under the uncaring pavement of Time.
May the Old Gods rise in time to see this whimpering beast-collective that became of their slayers dissolve into its own tears and gurgle down the drain of its unbearable pain.
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NCApr 16, 2020

responds:Apr 21, 2020

Amtrak had plenty of TP!
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