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Closing the Crackpot Mailbox
Announcing the End of Self-Help Writing: 11/9/2022
© 2022 James LaFond
Note: Rain and infirmity have prevented me from taking the laptop 2 miles down the road to the Dive Bar. At this point, as the rain patters on the roof above, only 5 chapters from completing the novel Wife—, I will wait until the novel is done and make the next clear day at the office, posting this and sending Lynn the novel. The books I intend to complete in Portland, by Christmas are:
Wife—, a novel
Ether and Nether, travel journal
Letters from the Inner Reaches, final reader dialogues
Jimmy, autobiography
Longshank Cain and the Curse of Juju Quartermaine, novel
Apologies, James, 11/22/2022
Additional Apology,
I must make the bar today or closing the crackpot mail box will be done too rudely for my taste.
Wife— and Ether and Nether were completed in the closing days of November.
James, 12/1/2022
I am in the Pacific Northwest for winter. The site is scheduled out until May 7. What is written in these two closing months of 2022 should be scheduled to post for summer 2023.
Now, in my meeting with cryptarch webmaster Vaxx Zombie DeGaulle, he expressed a concern that this site will be taken down by an aspect of the Overlordship at some point in the near future.
He has bundled every article posted and scheduled to post on the site in one download, that is some 14,000 articles. If you would like him to email a copy send a modest donation to the site—that’s me on the milk crate with the cardboard sign—and the archive is yours.
While in Portland until Christmas, I should be checking emails every Thursday or Friday. [Hasn’t happened, was just one Monday and Tuesday.]
-James, Wednesday First, November 2022, Portland, Oregon
Self-Help Writing
[Post eye disaster, 11/9/2022]
After dealing with emails for two days the nerve in the side of my head is sizzling like a worm on a grill. Extreme eye distress is limiting my reading, corresponding and writing in the following ways.
-1. Until December 25, emails sent to me will be forwarded to Lynn Lockhart so she can turn them into a text I can read.
-2. After Christmas, December 25, I will only read email headings. Emails announcing that a purchase or a donation were made I will answer briefly to give thanks. The rest of the emails will be deleted unread.
-3. Fellow writers. I can review work sent in 16 point Lucida Sans, Lucida Typewriter and Lucida Unicode, as an attachment.
-4. I do not view videos.
-5. I do not read links to any site of any kind.
-6. I do not read comments posted to this site, ever, not even when the webmaster emails them to me.
-7. I can listen to audio sent as an attachment. I do not use drop box, audible, or any of that, simply because I am a retard. I’m just too stupid to navigate most technology.
-8. Co-writers, such as Richard Barrett, Andy Edwards, Clark Savage, James North and series readers working on certain sequels, please send me an email with title only and an attachment with the text meant for me to read in 16 point Lucida Sans, Lucida Typewriter, Lucida Unicode or something that is not a serif.
-9. Patrons sending print books for review, unless it is in giant retard type, forget it. I was only able to get 42 pages into Fire in the Dark by Jack Donovan, a very promising read, which was printed in the largest type face any reasonable publisher is going to use. I cannot even read my print books made by Lynn for oldsters like Bob with fading sight.
-10. If you have any questions, queries or big ideas you would like to bounce off of this faltering brain, you have until Christmas. I am currently writing my final self-help book. I have been writing combat and urban blight advice since 1996. At this point, I’m repeating myself. As of January 1, 2023 I will only write:
-Travel [experiences, observations, monologues, real person sketches and burglarized conversations]
-Histories [History prompts may be sent to Lynn. If I am able to tender a worthy answer it will post on substack or patreon. If I think my answer was subpar, it will appear on this site.]
-11. Lynn was horrified that I am turning away from possibly a third of a stagnant income by abandoning advice writing, citing a piece about bullying I did for a reader a year or so ago. So, if there is a particular line of inquiry that you would like my opinion on, send it to Lynn at substack and we will do a short podcast addressing the issue, kind of making you a producer. There will never be anymore crackpot podcasts on an open platform. I’m not letting this nice lady get zapped by GOZ for helping my dumbass.
Thank you so much for supporting my ongoing misbehavior.
It is an honor.
James, Wednesday Second, November 2022, Portland, Oregon, in Big T’s garage.
Book Store Link
Superstitious Bumpkins in an Open Carry Town
crackpot mailbox
search for an american spartacus
book of nightmares
when you're food
your trojan whorse
america the brutal
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