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‘I Finally Hit the Thieving Negro Lottery’
© 2015 James LaFond
Mondawmin, Baltimore City
“Well, I finally hit the thieving negro lottery. I had gone to the ATM after getting off the twenty-two [bus line] because it is safer than the other ATM which is down a flight of stairs and around a corner, as if it were designed for rape and robbery. I then walked into the clothing store and begin to shop. I didn’t think anything of the two people following me, because one was six years old and the other was obviously his father.
“I made my purchase and headed up to the register with my purse under my left arm. The boy was now in front of me, looking back over his shoulder and saying in a not very convincing way, ‘Leave me alone! Why are you following me! Get away from me, lady!’
“I was honestly confused. I looked over my right shoulder to say something to the father and he bumped past me on the left side. They both walked off, so I shrugged my shoulder and went to pay for my purchase, and found out that my wallet was gone, Two hundred dollars and all of my I.D. and other information was gone.
“The store personnel called Mall Security. I had no reasonable expectation of my money or even my wallet being recovered. I did, however, want to make a report to the security or the police.”
[Normally the police, responding to such a call, will request to see the security footage and then fill out a report.]
“The security supervisor refused to call the police, and told me that they did not want police inside the mall and would not cooperate with any investigation they initiated. This is just so fucked up and mind boggling. And in all of this, I can’t help but think that that six-year-old kid’s life is already over. He’s just going to be a statistic.
“The other situation where I was the subject of a robbery was when I was moving. I was with Astralasia, moving my clothes and boxes in a car. She was on the other side in the street and I was bending over getting bags out of the back seat on the passenger side when this guy came up behind me and grabbed my hips. I just wanted to stand up, did not want to be bent over in a dress in front of some strange man that was feeling me up. As I stood up, Astralasia, who was a total ghetto bitch with a gold grille and everything—right out of central casting—dives over the hood of the car screaming at this Ő¸igger that she was going to do horrible shit to him, and he puts up his hands like we’re sticking him up—and he has a gun in his right hand! She goes after him and he runs off down the street.
“Well, that’s blacks in Baltimore for you.”
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Jeremy Bentham     Sep 22, 2015

Fascinating. Urban black criminals are as skilled at misdirection as any Las Vegas magician, aren’t they? They get you looking one way and then hit you from another direction. While one is knocking on your front door another is kicking in your back door. As Grandma was wont to observe if a person would put as much ingenuity and effort into something worthwhile they might really make something of themselves. But that would be nowhere near as exciting and as much fun as being a thief, would it? Plus you get more days off and don’t have to submit to drug tests as a career criminal. And as you say James, the hoodrats don’t see themselves as failures just because they are living a life of crime.
James     Sep 23, 2015

Crime is tougher then you think!

Eventually one of these guys wins the Uncle Darwin lottery and snatches Crazy Mark's last Slimjim...
Jeremy Bentham     Sep 23, 2015

Yes James, crime IS tough. At least it is tough for people who lack the proper mindset. What always kept me out of trouble was the personal belief that I wasn’t clever enough to get away with anything. I found it to be simply easier and less stressful to follow the straight and narrow path of righteousness than to have to concoct plausible alibies to cover up the fact that one had strayed, after one was inevitably found out that is. Typically criminal psychopaths believe they are smarter and more persuasive than they really are and that everyone will believe their preposterous stories. Although their ability to tell bald-faced lies with a straight face is always a wonder to behold. Unlike a person with normal emotions they suffer no anxiety that they might be found out, but found out they eventually are. Likewise the hoodrats clearly suffer no anxiety that they might suffer social ostracism for being caught and convicted of a crime. That is just an occupational hazard with little to no social stigma for them, sort of like getting laid off. But as you say James, the hazards of their occupation are such that they are very likely to die “on the job”, either by picking the wrong victim, being shot by the police or getting murdered by their criminal associates. Well like the Bible says, those who walk the path of evil lie in ambush for themselves.

“My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them. If they say, “Come along with us; let’s lie in wait for innocent blood, let’s ambush some harmless soul; let’s swallow them alive, like the grave, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; we will get all sorts of valuable things and fill our houses with plunder; cast lots with us; we will all share the loot”— my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths; for their feet rush into evil, they are swift to shed blood. How useless to spread a net where every bird can see it! These men lie in wait for their own blood; they ambush only themselves! Such are the paths of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the life of those who get it. “- Proverbs 1:10-19 (NIV).

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.” -Buddha.
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