In late June a retired pro soccer player named John wandered into a Northeast Baltimore bar. The bartender thought he was strange. But he did buy a round for the house. He began picking fights and making trouble and was asked to leave. He left, returned the next night, repeated his performance, and was made to leave again.
On the third night the man appeared again. He sat at the bar, placed a stone about the size of a peach on the bar top, and offered to buy a round for the house. The bartender let him stay on the condition that he "behave." The former soccer pro soon began "starting shit" again. So the bartender told him to leave.
He said, “Do you know who I am? I’m John, John the Apostle!”
The bartender said, “Well I’m Theresa, Theresa the Bartender, and I say you have to leave.”
John left as he shouted, “Everyone who drives is satanic!”
About ten minutes later there was a commotion outside, about a block up the street. John the Apostle had marked the cars of the satanic drivers with his rock, gouging them from bumper to bumper down the passenger side, and marking the hoods with the devil’s sign. His prophecy was not respected by the police, who arrested him.
As far as we know, John the Apostle is still being unjustly imprisoned by the narrow-minded authorities, who don’t believe about the satanic invasion.
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