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Meth-head Minister
Drunken Glory, Vice Documentary
© 2013 James LaFond
DEC/14/13
A stoner British babe working for Vice [see their link on our network page] nearly passes herself off as a journalist with minimal effort. In the meantime she does score some damning interviews with some latter day Friends of Jesus. Her main subject is a lifetime stoner with the zombie drawl of the brain damaged, who runs a ‘ministry’ out of a former crackhouse, filming podcasts, designing drugs, and dispensing such wisdom as, “No high like the Most High. There is evidence Jesus was high from birth, huffing frankincense from the crib.”
This junkie even admits to the financial aim of a mansion, with a full garage, provided by parishioners. Our Brit babe then journeys to her homeland to interview the A-list mentor of this freak, a certain John Crowder, who gets paid for talking small crowds of New Age Christians into hysteria. He utters such supreme truths as, “We were made for pleasure.” One of his disciples says of Jesus, “He was a piss-head wasn’t he?”
When I was a teen, I was once in a room full of ‘born again Christians’ who were chanting for my soul, trying to steal it back from the devil who had it in his grip. When a room full of brainwashed people start going over the edge like that you can feel it—the insanity is palpable. This documentary brought a little bit of that feeling out of my past to nag at me. Just as this Crowder character begins to discuss his internet rivalry with his one-time stoner disciple the focus shifts back to Minneapolis Minnesota, where—so the British babe claims—one can find the purest cocaine in North America and the most churches per square mile.
Mind you, these guys claim to be high only on Jesus. The twerp from Michigan, however, seems to be permanently damaged from drug saturation, and is smoking anything that is not targeted by the DEA. The film ends on the pathetic note that dope-fiends either need dope or full religious emersion. The damaged brains that parade through ‘Drunken Glory’ are sometimes funny, sometimes disturbing, and always, the first squealing speed-bump I would throw at the oncoming horde of the zombie apocalypse—come and get it Zeak!
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