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‘Your Most Maniac Novels’
In Case My Commander Asks: 9/9/24
© 2024 James LaFond
OCT/13/24
James Anderson and I spent 2 hours sparring and then an hour visiting at my Sister’s kitchen table as she made sure the young fellow ate enough before his hours long journey back to his Coast Guard station. He asked me about how many novels I had in the works. When he discovered that I had an embarrassing lack of focus, with 19 novels in the works, he said:
“That is good, very good. I’m going to post a quote from you up on my locker, an excellent quote on man killing. In case my commander should ask who you are and what our association is, I can use Timejacker, for example, as a novel that must have been written by a madman. I will say, Sir, this man is simply my boxing and stickfighting coach. He is obviously a maniac. Look at what he has written! Towards that end, it is cheering to know that you are compounding your previous literary crimes with more unforgivable titles. So what is your most maniac novel, in case my commander asks?”
Maniac Novels?
From just plain derranged to savagely...righteous?
That’s it, right, when the good guy is good because he is bad, well, that’s double bad, correct?
Am I properly inverting civic norms to elevate barbarism to its proper place and denegrate civilianism to its despicable base?
Dates are from memory. I might get them wrong. I just channel these stories for Homer, who is trapped in a women’ study clinic at U.C. Berkely taught by a troon professor undergoing clinically induced menstration.
Some of these titles may be found in print at:
Book Store Link
-10. Ghost Snatcher, 2019
An uplifting story of five African American heroes hunting down the last gun totting crackers in a quest for final justice.
-9. The Filthy Few, 2020
A Pizza Gate inspired rewrite of the Dirty Dozen, in which all of the bullshit training of the doomed heroes is skipped.
-8. Uprising, 2020
A horror story set in Cooke City, Montana, in which I am cast as a black gang banger on the run.
-7. American Dreamboat, 2019
I wanted to write Africans in Space, but lacked the required imagination…
-6. Wake Christopher or Whack the Blue, 2022
A cop killing fantasy so myopic that even the cops get in on the action.
-5. Dancing on the Edge, previously titled Fat Girl Dancing, 2015
A fat, female gear head using an American muscle car to slaughter men in Baltimore, just because.
-4. Beyond Rainbow Bridge, 2021
My friend Guru Rick, the fanatical skateboarder bodybuilder, journeys across Post Woke Pittsburgh to rescue a little girl from assisted suicide and organ harvesting. Best cop killing scenes I have written are in this masterpiece of unrepentent fiction.
-3. Reverent Chandler, 2015
The 7 last evil white men on earth battle “the entire mudslide” in a heroic race war novel bathed in gratuitous gore.
-2. Write Hate, 2022
A roofer/amatuer boxer is possessed by the Nordic Furies, who speak to him through a mirror and two claw hammers and drive him to slaughter beached eaters in Ocean City, Maryland.
-1. Thunderbird, 2017.
This novel places a war party of Mohawk warriors with Lumbee Indian time traveler guides in a chinook, time traveling from 1675 Harper’s Ferry to today. The mission is to kill every non Mohawk in Baltimore in one night. The nastiest rape scene in pulp fiction occurs towards the end.
-0. Timejacker, 2023
Okay, Seven Moons Deep, where the hero rapes a woman on a wedding bed made of dead and dying bodies, was considered. But, in Timejacker, American hero Jim Bowie uses the Nword and fails to apologize, making this the most egregious use of the English language in my lexicon of bad ideas!
Sorry!
All the the above titles are available in omnibus editions at our site estore. Might I suggest, America the Brutal for a start.
Thank you, James Anderson, for consenting to beat me up in honorable and agreeable fashion despite my numerous crimes against humanity, slights against Leviathan, and the illhumor to fail and note the difference.
I shall now continue the Timejacker trilogy with Nat Star—Timejacker and Banjo: Time Jack.
Machete Reason
american dream boat
eBook
the fighting edge
eBook
book of nightmares
eBook
into leviathan’s maw
eBook
thriving in bad places
eBook
uncle satan
eBook
cracker-boy
eBook
the sunset saga complete
eBook
by the wine dark sea
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