Modality: Domesticated

Morality: complaisance, consumption

Loyalty: materialism

Mobility: automobile or ambulance

Physicality: sedentary

Bait: TV, video games, booze

Origin: The North American white rabbit was Alexander Hamilton's brainchild, but was not brought to maturity until Woodrow Wilson and FDR finally retooled the American psyche to function as the perfect amoral debt-generating machine. White rabbits live in perpetual fear of the various rodent species that comprise the balance of the American body ghettonomic. White rabbit farmers use labrats, hoodrats and roadrats to corral these quivering masses of fear in their utterly defenseless suburban warrens. The physiology of white rabbits is as delicate as their psyche and hence they are simultaneously afflicted with the great dread that their daughters will be impregnated by hoodrats, labrats and roadrats and are at the very same time afflicted with a great guilt for fearing the dissolution of their race.

Appearance: The soft hide of the white rabbit ranges from beige to pink, which makes them the perfect playthings of hoodrats, who delight in tormenting the shuddering couch manatees of The State at every opportunity.