We were doing work orders, Woodstock and I.

We received a call about a possible irrigation leak on a home.

We pulled up to the address and Woodstock said, “Shit I was just here last week. The bitch inside is crazy. You're coming in with me.”

The irrigation access was a crawl space in the woman's bedroom closet. We lifted the plywood lid, crawled in and began to look for the leak. Finding no problem, we were in the process of climbing out with Woodstock in the lead, He put his hand on the wood ladder and turned so fast I thought he had injured himself. He grabbed me a pulled me back and said, "Oh fuck!"

I replied, "What the hell?”

He motioned me to the ladder and said, “Look up.”

Being a dumbass I walked over to the opening of the crawl space and looked up. Imagine looking into the eye of an 80-year-old old shaved beaver. The woman was standing over the opening in a skirt with no panties.

Woodstock said, “I told you that bitch was crazy. I'm never doing another work order at this address until we hear of her death. They don't pay me enough for this shit.”

That beaver burned a hole right out the back of my head. I replied, “Me too.”

That is something you never forget, unfortunately.

Emanuel