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The Street Scene
The Low-IQ Adult RPG of Youth Street Life: C. 1990 by James LaFond, Nero the Pict and Mescaline Franklin
© 2019 James LaFond
This is a simple RPG played with a single six-sided die.
Combat and chases, arguments, stare downs, etc., are conducted by each side rolling a die and adding their fight or rollout, or talk or balls rating with the positive adjusted die roll difference indicating success, or not, for one party to the degree indicated below:
0- Mutual disaster
1- Impasse, stalemate
2- Marginal success
3- Moderate success
4- Success
5- Highly successful
6- Crushing success
Simple actions are resolved by the same method of rolling 1 die and adding the governing ability and applying the result to the table below, with an unadjusted [natural] roll of 1 always resulting in failure.
2-4 failure
5-6 easy
7-8 simple
9-10 hard, complex
11+ requires some real skills, punk
A character is generated by being given a name and then assigned a stereotype. The character’s abilities are then rolled for, in the decidedly unheroic method of rolling a die for each of the following abilities in order, with the option of one reroll, taken at the moment the unwanted result is rolled. The players should all roll for the same ability at the same time and then make fun of low rollers.
-Sense: [smarts, low time preference decision making]
-Balls: [courage, if you roll a 6 here subtract 1 from sense]
-Talk: [oratory, talking trash, macking bitches, talking shit, lying to the PIGs]
-Fight: [combat]
-Gas: [stamina]
-Rollout: [running from the PIGs, etc.]
-Life: [How many times you can gas out before falling out for good]
The character and his abilities are now adjusted according to his type. Ability adjustments in brackets change the character’s base ability.
-Metal heads: [sense -1], have chemical tolerance of +2, are -2 in clinch combat and at a likely hood of 1-2 out of 6 wield a comb in combat for a +1
-Skinheads: -1 in combat if alone, +2 in combat if packed up with other skinheads, +1 in combat with Doc Martin steel toe boots
-Sharps: -2 in combat if alone, +1 in combat if packed up with other sharps, +1 steel toe boots
-Dead heads: [sense -1], [talk -1 you know, like, yeah, man], possession of various drugs [weed +1] is quite a bonus on The Scene
-Ravers: [+1 roll out], [+1 gas], [-1 life], ecstasy possession
-Goths: +1 balls at night, [-1 roll out due to heavy attire]
-Nerds: [+2 sense], [-1 balls], [-1 fight] comic book possession makes you a more likely target of violence by all except the PIGS
-Hoodrats: [-3 sense], +1 balls when packed up with other hood rats, [+1 talk], chimp out pack attack ability when three or more hoodrats packup, giving each a +1 fight, when ho is present chimpouts give a +2 fight, possession of a beeper on a die roll of 1-2 which summons 1-3 hoodrats over 1-6 turns
-Greasers: [-1 sense], [+1 roll out], if they have a car then they get +1 on talk, balls and fight. If grounded, greasers get -1 on everything except rollout
-Ginzos: [-2 sense], [+1 balls, talk, fight] catholic necklace if broken causes ginzo chimpout [see hoodrats]
-Ricans: [-2 sense], [+1 talk, balls, fight], possessions: 1-2 = knife causes instant gas out and fallout of hit foe, or 3-6 Gucci belt buckle, +1 fight
Important Rules
The game takes place in the mythical municipality of Shithole City.
One player is the moderator, who plays third parties [Non-Player-Characters or NPCs], including the foes of your group and the PIGS, so this is best played with 3-6 people. He decides where your adventure takes place [Shithole City Park, Shithole Row, Shithole Housing Projects, Shithole Arena, Shithole-Burbia Rec Center, Shithole-Burbia Shopping Mall, Shithole Cemetery, Shithole Roller Rink, Shithole Stadium, Shithole City Hall, Shithole Strip Club, etc.] what kind of foes might start shit with your group, how many turns it takes for the PIGS to roll up, etc. The moderator is the God of NPCs, by nature a heavy-handed deity. The moderator tells you all what part of Shithole City you meet up in, what venue attraction is ongoing—of course all this shit goes down at night—and what kind of foes frequent the area at this time.
The player character group begins play by having an open meeting in front of the moderator and agreeing on a goal:
-getting into a concert without paying,
-getting stoned,
-getting drunk while under age,
-messing with a rival group,
-finding a rare LP, comic book, car, hooker, dope cooker…
-fucking with the PIGS [the vaunted SPD, the most over the top police force in the nation, whose chief, B. J. Booker, has declared war on youth street crime], etc.
The players than declare that goal to the moderator.
For instance, the moderator might place the group of ginzos, greasers and their token nerd at a heavy metal venue attended by skinheads in an area frequented by hoodrat raiders, and the players could then declare their goal: mess with the skinheads, mess with the metalheads, hunt hoodrats, get high, get drunk, get some hair band groupie pussy, sneak into the venue and crash the mosh pit, beat up the door men, etc.
If it’s the last option and the moderator is a dickhead, he might have Baas Rutten working the door…
Combat is simultaneous.
All negative stereotypes apply to all characters!
Basically, the game goes until the PIGs show up, then whoever gets caught by the PIGS or fell out and ended up in Shithole City Hospital are counted as losers.
On The Street Scene there are no winners, only losers.
Don’t be a loser!
The Street Scene is designed for use with alcohol. Begin drinking cheap beer or malt liquor before the first turn, during the group goal meeting, or the first time you play during character generation. The moderator should also drink shots as he represents the aspirations, and also role-plays the behavior of your esteemed low-IQ foes and the PIGS. All mistakes made by the moderator due to alcohol use are enforced as representing the effects of police corruption and the levelling agency of Luck, the players’ fickle God of chance.
Note on die rolling. Learn die discipline. Get some paper cups, 8 ounce cups being perfect, and shake that sucker with your hand on the bottom then set it down. When the die stops rattling lift the cup. That is a proper de roll. The above procedure nullifies cheating with the die and should be taught to your whelps.
Combat is creative, with the moderator interpreting effects and, when serious enough demanding that a player roll to gas out or even fall out.
Play at your own risk.
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