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Drunken Self-Inflicted Stupidities
Ron West's Queer Chicken Dinner, pages 109-111
© 2019 James LaFond
Kerouac would have you believe the woman who’d just written Cassady (and no doubt himself) off as deserving of nothing less than being shot dead for their behaviors towards women, now goes on to party with Cassady and himself. In this way Kerouac paints Helen Hinkle a crass hypocrite. Next, the women present at the party scene walk out, embarrassed by Kerouac supposedly having nothing more than innocent fun (that smells bad) and the method employed to seduce the reader is to elevate the Black musicians and their undoubtedly deserving music in an exaggerated way (one wonders what they might have thought about their audience, were they have to read Kerouac’s book.)
The incredible hypocrisy of denigrating a ‘fairy’ in attendance jumps out, recalling Kerouac is a closet gay.
Burroughs and Ginsberg make cameo appearances over the two day span of drunken self-inflicted stupidities, then Kerouac and Cassady slip out of town like the cowards they are, no doubt for fear of certain women.
We knew how to party and our women loved us. Hal and Randy had come up with a 1932 MAC freight truck, built a dance floor on the back with stereo and keg rack, the summer of 1969 was on! ‘Marten City Mac’ partied up and down ‘the line’, at Lion Lake, Emery Bay, among other spots and when the traveling party on the back of a classic truck with trailing caravan had become too noticeable (not good for the Glacier Park tourist
destination image) and the Montana Highway Patrol had staked out our area, we stayed closer to home and took our week to week ongoing party to ‘the burner.’
‘The burner’ was a very large steel tipi shaped structure at an abandoned sawmill in the forest outside of Coram.
Furnished with carpets, beds, arm chairs, whatever was donated or could be salvaged from discards, with a huge bonfire in the center, ‘the burner’ had been the scrap wood disposal system for the sawmill and in fact had been the sawmill’s ‘burner.’ Forty kids could party inside without seeming over-crowded.
Not far away was Lake Five .. and to give some idea of country boy antics that happen for no particular good reason, one day Mike O. had rounded me up, he had a couple of cases of beer and just the two of us went for a row around the lake in a 14 ft aluminum boat, drinking all the while. We had gotten pretty damn drunk while rowing around and swapping stories. Of course one will eventually have to piss in this state and I stood up and was wizzing over the side of the boat into the lake when Mike decided to have fun with that and began rocking the boat to make taking a leak into the lake a challenge.
Damn drunk as I was, I’d balance problems to begin with, having to find sea legs in a rocking boat was giving me concern because we did not have life jackets and I was cognizant enough to realize drunks can’t necessarily swim all that well. Or maybe I just did not want to go overboard and with my whang hanging out at that.
While trying to keep my balance, and the piss over the side accurately, I started cussing cease and desist orders in vivid language and suddenly Mike gave up and collapsed in a heap of hysterics. I failed to see what could be so absolutely entertaining but the boat was drifting in such a way, as I continued pissing, it turned slowly and into my fogged vision, which suddenly focused, I saw the Lake Five Resort lawn and swimming dock with wide-eyed tourists in bathing suits, everyone of them staring in a state of perfect disbelief, at a distance of about thirty yards.
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