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The Case for the Panhandler Genocide
Why Beggars Should Starve
© 2012 James LaFond
I was headed through Baltimore City this morning to meet Charles and Josh for a training session over on the East Side. As is normally my practice, when confronted with a heap of ill-scented trash near the bus stop on Baltimore Street, I stepped over it. Imagine my irritation when the pile of trash sniveled, “Hey, big guy, can you spare some change?”
I regarded the heap of refuse with disdain and declined, “No thanks, man.” and walked on. By the time I was well out of town, reading a book about a hard life lived by a real man, I had determined to take one more stab at panhandling as a self-defense concern.
This is not an attempt to earn a Tea Party endorsement for Republican Office. I dislike all panhandlers, particularly politicians. I am also not going out of my way to make this piece entertaining. This is a pure plea for sanity directed at the guilt-ridden with whom I share this hunting-matrix. I am just trying to protect our women and children through an appeal to clarity. My appeal is doomed. However, like the charity-giver that only gives to make his self feel better about the problem he cannot solve, I am likewise spitting into unforgiving winds for purely selfish reasons.
That nameless scumbag I stepped over, who has not a shred of remaining human dignity, may just be a beggar. My estimate is that two in every three panhandlers is a victim of society, parenting, genetics or all of the above, and could certainly use some help. I say let them starve. Let them huddle in the effusive gutters of our cities until they expire. Yes, here it goes, Crank Social Darwinist on parade.
In traditional societies these men would have been killed or enslaved by better men. The fact is a certain percentage of human males—reflected by the current homeless population—must be necessarily culled from any primitive population to insure a healthy dynamic society, capable of waging pitiless wars on its enemies. Unfortunately human society is no longer Genghis Khan compatible.
Why, you say, should we not tolerate these harmless men among us?
Because one out of every three homeless men are criminals! I love the guilty elite who built and fund Our Daily Bread in the upscale Mount Vernon area of Baltimore. The soup kitchen is two blocks from the Enoch Pratt Free Library. Because of this, the library entrance is staffed like a Foreign Legion outpost by combative armed security guards. These guards are needed to keep the library safe—particularly the restrooms.
Men are usually aggressive. The losers, such as our homeless, are simply not good at aggression. They couldn’t make it as athletes, backstabbing coworkers, soulless businessmen, obnoxious salesmen, or as military or law-enforcement personnel. However, that aggression is still latent within them, poorly contained by their diseased and drug-saturated minds, waiting to be stoked by envy or their basic human needs.
Here is the equation: your beggar is your son’s pushy panhandler; your wife’s strong-arm robber; and your mother’s terrifying toll-collector. The harmless beggars are not harmless. They lower our guard for the opportunistic panhandlers and condition our women and children to reach into their pockets and apologize as a first response to verbal aggression.
If I were Khan [even if just a middling, not-so-great one] I would declare 20 lashes and a thousand dollar fine for the crime of giving to a beggar. For a second offense you would be impressed into service for six months clubbing baby seals in the Arctic. Before being permitted to rejoin civilization you would have to fight a convicted murderer in a cage on live TV. Your fine, the proceeds of your labor, and the purse for your fight would go to feed and house the homeless, who my warriors would have rounded up and herded onto my firing rang, homeless no more, with their place in the sun to live out their brief yet productive lives.
Unfortunately, this equitable solution will not be coming to a planet near you anytime soon.
James LaFond, Sunday, 7/15/12
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LaMano     Jul 3, 2017

Gotta think a bit about history here ... There have always, ALWAYS been panhandlers, and the laws pertaining to them have been very strict sometimes.

Never seems to stop them. A man has to have lost ALL his pride and ALL his manhood, generally to drugs including ethanol, to beg money from people on the street.

Your explanation as to their location on the man totem pole (someone has to be at the bottom) is as good as any, but your solution has been tested and tried over the years and never seemed to work ....?
J     Jul 3, 2017

If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
Sam J.     Jul 3, 2017

Many years ago used to give money to panhandlers. Mostly because I was stupid and thought they really could use help. Some maybe are decent. The last time was when I was at a McDonalds for lunch and someone hit me up for a burger. I gave him a dollar and he started walking the opposite direction from where he said he wanted a burger. I reminded him what the dollar was for. He of course, I watched him, went right in one door and straight out the other with my dollar. I stopped then. Now I just say I don't have it to spare.

It actually still bothers me as I've been in dire straights myself at times but not enough for me to give.
Andrew DeMario     Jul 3, 2017

Beggars, priests and lawyers have something in common: Guilt provides them with a living.
Shep     Jul 6, 2017

The takeaway here is the equation in the second-to-last paragraph. That's the key concept I'll be passing along to my kids.
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