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Telescopic Batons?
Joe Portland is Wondering Why the ASP Doesn't Make the Weapon Grade
© 2021 James LaFond
“Greetings and salutations! I hope all is well for you in Harm City of thereabout. Watching your training videos and starting personal drills. Trying to gather some guys to spar with. Trying to recall why you suggested no telescopic batons. It it because its a police tool and they don't like civilians with them? I know I need an extension weapon on me but how would I carry a piece of pipe? Create some type of belt clip?”
-Joe Portland

Joe, yes the cops and courts frown on civilians using police tools: tazers, guns, cuffs, ASPs, etc.- it always prejudices them against you. However, that is not why I very much dislike the ASP as an extension weapon.
Problems with the ASP as an extension weapon:
-1: You have to extend it. Think about that. You will have to do two things before using it is an extension weapon— by then you are already getting stomped. I do like it as a short hand stick, when collapsed. But since it demonstrates an intent to use, as it is a dedicated weapon, I would prefer an actual 8 inch pipe in the pocket like I carry in Portland.
-2: It became popular after actor Clint Eastwood used one to break a window in the movie In the Line of Fire, in 1993.
-3: Due to #2, martial arts faggots started concocting various fantasies on how to use the weapon (back when they did not even understand what a standard baton did to a man) when the more massive wooden ones failed to stop Rodney King due to poor technique, that fell short of caveman proficiency.
-4: Two cops I talked to, and Loren Chistenson in one of his paladin press books, described bending and ruining their ASPs on men who were not in the least impaired by the strokes.
-5. Lacking mass, the ASP does little soft tissue damage, which is bad.
-6: Being metal, the ASP promotes bleeding—tweaker blood on you bro—which is a general advantage to using other blunts, in that you don't get enemy goo all over you as much as with a knife or ax.
-7: Recently, I talked with a young man who fought police officers to a draw with his umbrella. The cops he faced off against had ASP telescopic batons. They were holding the ASPs by the striking end to get more power by hitting with the heavier handle. However, he suffered no debility or broken bones and retreated in good order. Imagine, if you will, being a spear maker and selling a spear to a medieval knight for boar hunting, and having him come back and tell you, that the blade was so shitty, that he held it by the blade and beat the boar with the shaft? You'd be issuing a refund.
Joe, the only reason why the telescopic baton is used, is because it looked cool in a movie, martial arts faggots think it looks cool, and it leaves plenty of room on the batman utility belt for better weapons and more useful tools.
As for extension weapons you can carry, I suggest a tire thumper for your car, a weapon I carried in my backpack for a year until I was given a massive, solid metal T-cane. My back pack, is essentially my inconveniently unwheeled car. These things are used by bikers as weapons, and bikers are known to be poor fist fighters and carry much malice, so I trust their taste in weapons. The main thing, is you have an excuse to have it in your car.
Another weapon I have carried often, and which I just picked out for a fighter I train, is a hand umbrella, ranging from 14-18 inches. You can carry it anywhere in Portland any day and no one will be wary. You hold the end were the hub is and strike with the handle, like the PIGs who were fighting my young friend did. The wires of the umbrella flex in your hand and whip in the stroke.
By three umbrellas.
Cut a PVC of the umbrella length.
A rolled-up magazine could also work.
Air stroke and bag stroke with the stick.
Once your doctrine is solid, air stroke with your practice umbrella.
Once you have adjusted your mechanics to fit that weapon, put on safety glasses, murder the bag with it, counting the strokes one at a time, taking note of what each stroke does to the weapon, and how you might continue to use it. It might extend, it might bend.
Now practice with the PVC on the bag adjusting for forensic outcomes.
Pick up the second practice umbrella and do another impact study.
You should have the information you need to train with the PVC.
The umbrella you carry should never be used as an umbrella or for training.
The good ones start at $6 and go up to Trump levels of cuff-link faggotry.
Pick your fancy.
I also suggest grabbing a handful of cheap dollar store umbrellas as well, one for the car, one for when it really rains...
Also, do not forget that you can deploy the umbrella penguin style, like my friend did, against police mace and have the chemical weapons blow back in their face.
Also, I think your should get Krav Maga pants—I have a pair now—and use some of the many pockets for weapons, hand sticks, a good palm-size rock for casting, right into the fact from two paces, a handful of change in a left pocket to cast in the face for distractions.
These are all items I have used as makeshift weapons.
Another good one is the sand hammer—go to that Harbor Freight near you and figure out what tools you could use in your car, since you drive, or slide in a pocket, like a chisel. The sand hammers come in many weights and lengths and are cheap.
Joe, good training, good luck, and stay vigilant. I'm proud of you for sticking with this course of action.
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Brian W. Jewell     May 30, 2021

Just to add one more reason not to use a baton (which I actually used to teach when I was still working in the security field) is that it can fold in on you at the most opportune moments. One of the techniques we taught was a stabbing motion, similar to a #5 in estimation. Only we keep both hands on the baton. In this case the baton can collapse making it useless in having any effect on the attacker and pinching the skin on the hand of the user....
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