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Anachronistic Publishing?
The Care and Kneading of Your Pet Graphomaniac
© 2021 James LaFond
Just in case you own one—I'm a crowd-funded loner—a graphomaniac that is, this one's handlers seem to have found a leash that fits.
I realize it is bad writing form to write about the writer and a yawn-fest for 9 out of 10 readers to write about writing. However, I am an oddity, if unworthy of your sister's hand in marriage, at least worthy as a cautionary exemplar of the road that should not be taken. Perhaps a writer or two among you will find something of use here.
As for the pure readers, take this as an explanatory apology for delaying answers to your valuable and interesting emails and comments, similar to the one I gave to my mother at age 8 when I broke the lid on her homemade ceramic strawberry-shaped cookie jar while trying to sneak an extra morsel while she watched TV in the other room.
I apologize for being so slow on answering emails and comments. This was originally because my eyes were killing me. Now that I have my new screen glasses and this nervous inflamation cycle is abaiting, as it usually does come mid-summer, my tardiness is born of the solution for my previous inability to look at the screen every day.
For two months Lynn was scheduling posts for me, as Charles and Her had conspired against me on my behalf to put in a scheduling function.
Hell, ten years ago, Charles told me, “Jay, I know you have an encylopedia stuck between your ears trying to get out. But sixteen articles in a day? What the fuck! [Hits self in forehead with palm] You are confusing your readers and minimizing reads for your most worthy articles. Do One a day.”
Well, I only listened to this sage advice from the young man after my eyes blew up on me two months ago. And guess what—reads doubled.
Now, with these nifty new peepers, I am releasing Lynn from her site bondage and she will be just working on Patreon, Substack and books, and doing just enough articles on this site to let you know something special has started in one of those quarters.
I really do look forward to more new queries and such via email. It has also been very nice that folks have held back on writing in to save my eyes.
Not only do I not read comments any more, I no longer read on the site, confining my activity to the back-end publishing and review function.
I keep this straight by use of a pocket planner.
Other than news notices of new books, stuff like this, there will only be one post a day. Even predictions of divine intervention, coverage of the most recent mass shooting and my opinion of the first tranny swimsuit model on sports illustrated—who after much soul searching as Mom showed me “the interesting though troubling news of the day”—I had to admit to myself that I would still sex her [unless I run into external plumbing feature] even though I am told it used to be a man. I suppose that would check off those “buck breaking” and “golden skin sin” boxes on my hedonistic bucket list at the same time—I mean, I've only had sex with original black women right out of God's hot chocolate laboratory on the South Atlantic. Buy today's standards I'm virtually innocent.
If you send in an email for my reading, I will answer it as an article [unless you say otherwise] as a scheduled post. When that post is scheduled, I will email you back the date on which it will post.
This does mean that my current content will be, like the Crackpot Podcast used to be, hopelessly out of time. That is fine. You see, as what it is against the news to write, think or say, changes on a monthly and seasonal basis, and sometimes what would get you fired or de-platformed yesterday is establishment doctrine today, then I think this will help keep me out of trouble.
After all, I am only interested in writing fiction, history and the history of the future—I mean the present is well and good fucked.
Besides, its asking a lot of a woke devil to be timely. When a devil does not even rape contemporary African American women, but insists on traveling back in time and buggering Martha Washington's kitchen staff while they are supposed to be making her Indian Pudding on New Year's Eve—and getting those girls whipped to boot—how can you expect that reprobate to keep a timely schedule?
Currently, every day is scheduled up to August 10th, with fiction scheduled for every Thursday thru November 11.
Of the various attempts to structure this site as a publishing platform, the only thing that has stuck is fiction on Thursday.
Haft, High Fantasy set in Middle Earth, is scheduled to run from July 22nd thru September 16th.
Cube, MMA science-fiction set in 2121, is scheduled to run from September 23rd thru November 11th.
Both will be concluded on Substack.
Thanks for your support and tolerance.
James, 7/20/21, Abingdon, Maryland
Oh yes. I am trying to remember to type a date or copy and paste an email time stamp for each post so that you know when it was written. I don't go back and make corrections or updates prior to publishing—ask my long-suffering editor.
winter of a fighting life
son of a lesser god
'in these goings down'
thriving in bad places
masculine axis
on combat
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