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Headless Man Makes No News
Big Ron Relates the Underlit Side of Gaslit Baltimore
A Monologue from 7/15/21
More and more people around here have become incompetent turds. Forget changing a tire—most people can't even change a light bulb anymore, Mexicans excepted. Whites, blacks, forget it. Most of them won't even work—either kind—after tasting that extra unemployment money last year. That Covid thing was a game changer. You now have to get other people into the country to do the work—Americans, at least in Maryland, just will not work with their hands.
The dindus are still good for shooting each other at a fair clip. So at least they're putting in some kind of work, doing something useful for society. Of course, the crime thing is hanging over everyone's head and if you have a brain you know stuff is getting shut down again when flue season hits.
This brings up the point of self-defense. I have fun going out to the range with my Old Man and burning some rounds. But like he always told me, you won't be defending yourself from across the street. If a guy shoots at you across four lanes and you return fire, well, your ass is going to prison too. This whole Second Amendment thing is bullshit.
My old man always told me, you'll be using your pistol in grappling range—hold that fucker off with your left hand and pump rounds into his guts with the other hand.
But out at the range, these wingnuts always show up with their military clothing, their AR and even flak jackets. Come on, you're a fat American that never got punched in the nose. You're not up to going Vietcong and selling your life dearly from a spider hole. And lets say you do, lets say you have the balls to shoot it out with the government? They won't even waste the Navy SEALs on you. They will cut off your water and power, block the roads, and if you don't come out with your hands raised, they are going to fly a drone up your ass!
Speaking of which, most of the violence around here is not making the news, not even the local news. Unless you're kneeling on a n!@@#$'s neck, nobody gives a shit. Makes it better if you ask me.
My daughter is living down in Saint Helena with her husband, a good guy. I drive down there at three in the afternoon on a Wednesday to fix something for them and there are a dozen fifty-year-old white guys playing wiffle ball in the street! I'm like really, none of these fuckers work? They have beer cans sitting on the roofs and hoods of cars and when I pull up, one of them says, “Car” just like I used to when I was a kid, and they all step out of the way. At least they let my bye. But what, are they ten years old?
[Laughter]
That's the surest way to kill a race—give them the easy road. That Covid money has really changed the character of working people and for the worst.
Oh, and they pulled a headless body out of Bear Creek! Some one chopped this guy's head off and dumped him in the river. That shit did not even make the local news. No way was that hoodrats—cutting off a head is to much work, that's Mexicans or some of those nasty white people down in Dundalk.
So, it is four in the morning and my daughter calls me up. She has a flat tire and her husband is recovering from an operation. So she calls me to change it. I pull up, its dark. I'm right there next to Bear Creek off the Peninsula Highway Bridge, changing the tire [makes tire iron motions] and this working pickup truck pulls up behind us and just idles there.
I'm wondering if I'm going to have to whip these assholes with this tire iron. Then one of them comes up to me and says, “Do you work there?” pointing at the job site.
I said, “No.”
He says, “Do you know there is a body down here by the river?”
“No, and from the sound of it, there's nothing I can do to help the guy. What you want me to do about it?”
“We called it in and thought maybe you could stay and talk to the police.”
“Are you fucking stupid? Fuck that. I get this tire on and I'm gone. You can take down my tag if you want. But hell if I'm hanging around to talk to the fucking cops.”
So there you go, more incompetent turds, even among working men.
While I was talking to my daughter after work she said, “You know, when I was driving to work their the other morning I saw these guys hauling a sack across the road.”
Well, I thought, at least someone in Dundalk is putting in some work.
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Baltimore County Police DeptSep 11, 2021

It was a weather balloon. Be on your way.
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