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‘Do Not Pet the Rednecks’
Finding a Cookout
© 2014 Anonymous
JUL/7/14
The following is the second half of the directions to the cookout I attended on July 5th, in a rural area of Baltimore County on the waterfront. Many of the attendees would be of the educated urban and suburban middleclass.
“…Follow blacktop road, as you pass around the bend there is a farmhouse on the right. The blacktop becomes graveled. At the fork in the road go left. Follow to the opening. There is a trailer directly in front and a brown shingled house on the right. If you see water you are probably there. If you get lost you are screwed. The rednecks might chop you up for bait.
“It is an outdoor meeting. BYOB, any dish if you wish. We will have basic cookout stuff and outdoor bathroom facility (tree). There may or may not be signs for directional assistance. Do not smile at the rednecks, they will hurt you. Ignore the nudity and disgusting behavior. If you are inclined the water is good for swimming. Kids are welcome. We prefer you not bring animals or act like one. Well, that’s negotiable.”
As we reached the campsite there was a sign that said, ‘Don’t pet the rednecks’. This setting is a maze of densely wooded flat land peninsulas served by single-lane dead-end roads, where I have attended a few cookouts. It was used as a location sketch for chapters 2-4 in the serialized novel Hurt Stoker.
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