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Free the Gay Zebras!
Humorous G-man Riot Moments
© 2015 James LaFond
Last night the young people on staff at work kept bringing me their smart phones to show the progress of the riot. My favorite deed by the conquering army of hood rats was breaking into the zoo and letting the zebras loose, one of which was hoofing it out of town along the sidewalk. One of the bleeding heart liberals on the crew said, “Oh, the poor animals, the poor zebras.”
I could not believe this broad, and piped up, “Look, it’s like a jail break. The zoo is a prison. Besides, they obviously let the zebra out to demonstrate racial harmony. I think they’re only prepared to go so far. I doubt very much if you will discover that the polar bears were liberated.”
The Christian missionary that works in the deli cut in, “You know, if they were really serious about racial harmony they’d free the panda bears—they’re black, white and Asian!”
My favorite photo had to be of this kid who looked to be all of 10 years old driving a UPS truck! At first it looked like he had a seatbelt on. But it was his school backpack!
Last but not least was an amusement park train that may have been looted from the zoo, which was being driven by some skinny guy while a big muscle guy in a wife beater sat back, apparently drunk.
When I was walking down to the bar yesterday this young black guy was staggering toward me, so drunk his eyes were rolling, almost falling into me. When I got to the bar I asked Megan, “Did you see that fool?”
She said, “Yeah, that asshole almost got his teeth knocked out. I asked him if he was okay. Little bastardo said he was coming back from the riots. Then he gave me a bunch of shit for not calling out at work to go to the riots.”
Overall, there is something enlivening about having the world order threatened in the city that you live, almost as if you are awakening from some death like drugged stupor. I suppose we are not done, and that the big ones are yet to come, either if one of the cops who beat Freddie’s stupid ass to death gets acquitted, or if the EBT cash and food stamp distributions ever fail to come out. When that happens we will have thousands of adult rioters and tens of thousands of teens.
That will be a blast, and believe me, it will be.
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Andrew Bmore WebStar     Apr 28, 2015

As a tax paying city homeowner: Burn this Mother Fucker to the ground.

Sorry Mom.
    Apr 30, 2015

A deep dark part of me concurs.

I had little patience for the crying eyes of men watching the dissolution of the city they abandoned two decades ago from their suburban vantage.

Don't forget the marshmallows for the next round of riots.
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