JL: Harm City Sagacity

Blog

Harm City Sagacity

Random Quotes from the Ghetto

Below is a collection of quotes from victims of my interviewing process and people who have been overheard by me when I had a notepad in hand. The samples are collected in no particular order, and I make no claim that living according to the implied mores will benefit you what-so-ever.

“Den kill his ass again dummy!”
pedestrian on phone, North Avenue and Asquith, Northeast Baltimore

“Oh datz gotz ta be da dumbess whiteboy I eva knowed!”
supermarket clerk, South Baltimore

“Hey my white brutha, yo wanz some a diz fine shit hea? Gotz da aftanoon discount goin’.”
pimp, seated next to ho, #8 bus, northbound on York, Baltimore County

“Five policez en one dumb back-talkin’ brutha. What da odds dis shit gonna end good?”
bus patron, Stemmer’s Run and Old Eastern Avenue

“I nomally uses a table-leg—dough I’s damagin’ widoutit. Aks da boyz.”
Mumblejack, Northeast Baltimore

“So whiteboy, you goin’ to visit yer gramma?...Well, I don’ feel right leavin’ ya off here, not t’night”¦Good luck.”
Bus Driver, #23 line, Southeast Baltimore

“Yo, caveboy, I look out fo ya. No joke. Yo gots protectin.”
crack dealer, Coldspring and Harford, Northeast Baltimore

“A balanced lifestyle is for people who aren’t going anywhere. People who accomplish things are mad and pissed off.”
man at pay phone, 1998, Highland and Lombard, East Baltimore

“Trust? Trust is the condition necessary for betrayal.”
Walt, Southern and Belair, Northeast Baltimore

“Bullshitting people is an art not a science”¦and this shit is the paintbrush.”
stoned pothead, Essex, Eastern Baltimore County

“Seems like big ‘uys is oways fight’n lille guys. Don’t it, lille man?”
Bubba Crank, Northeast Baltimore

“I don’t appreciate people attempting to take something that belongs to me.”
Sand Man, Southwest Baltimore

“Put it ‘way, whiteboy. I gotta tirty-eight in da car, and I’ll bus’ a cap in yo crazy white ass.”
sedan driver, South Baltimore

“They be offerin’ me three, but be talkin’ seven—suspended. Yo Crazy Nigga took a offer for ten—suspended. And Yo Dumb Nigga be doin’ two. I thinkin’ seven is good. That way I stay in bidness.”
Spin

“You go first. You eat here? My black ass is sittin’ right here. If they wann me they gonna have some hippie first.”
Sand Man, Cox’s Pub, South Baltimore, 6:30 AM, winter 1998

“Yo, I hate whitemuthufucas. I particularly hate that whitemuthufuca. Yo, if I had my shit I’d bus’ a cap in ‘is Crocodile Dundee-ass, yo.”
North Avenue Boy, #19 line, 10:20 PM, winter 1998

“I been laid low by life, by Nam. But was brought up through the Pit of Redemption by Jesus, who is the livin’ organism of The Word of The Lord—and I’ll kick yer ass too, boy, right off this bus.”
Prophet, #19 line, Harford and Hugo, Northeast Baltimore

The Oldest form of Transportation

‹

harm city

›

Harm City Handbook #2