On the last Sunday in February 2014 Billy was walking out Harford Road in Baltimore County behind his Aunt Jane, alternately tooling around on his skateboard and picking it up and walking, so as not to leave his aunt behind. Billy is 11 and Aunt Jane is a great aunt, in her fifties.

As they neared the Giant Supermarket four white teenagers began calling to Billy from across the street:

“Fuckin’ pussy!’

“Skateboard bitch!”

“We gonna beat yo pussy ass yo!”

“Come on skateboard pussy!”

Aunt Jane, who lives in the city, has fought off men, and stared down ghetto gangbangers shaking down the elderly for money on the bus stops, said through gritted teeth, “Keep on walking Billy. If they cross the street I’m grabbing your skateboard and beating them to death!”

Unfortunately, due to the intercession of that older woman, four aspiring hip-hop artists were robbed of a heroic act that could have inspired the first of many sensational rap hits.

Wait, didn’t some blogger recently predict that this country was turning into a matriarchy?

Yo, dudes, you could have a civil rights case! Find out if mommy knows a good lawyer.