Last week I complained about my Father’s Day being marred by the shameful marksmanship of the Chicago gang-bangers who shot 46 and only killed 7. Then I found out that one fatality was via cop. Well homeboys that brings your kill to hit percentage down to a lack-luster 13.333%. Feel fortunate that I did not round it down.

I did suggest that a Harm City mission travel out to the ‘Ghettoway to the West’ in an attempt to instill some fire discipline. Indeed I must plead guilty to trying to export my fellow ghettoites to Chicago—and it back-fired. I would like to apologize to Harm City dwellers for my lack of foresight. For, like many a social-engineer and community advocate before me, I failed to realize how my intentions would be warped in practice. Apparently, in this internet age, Harm City hood-rats decided on a remote-viewing media-sponsored clinic, not so much as buying a bus ticket, to get their lethal point across.

From Saturday 6/22/13 thru Sunday 6/23/13, Harm City hood-rats shot 20 fellow Baltimore residents, killing 10. That is 50%; nearly 5 times more effective than their Chicago counterparts. What is wrong with those Chicago boys?

The per-capita numbers are even more staggering. Chicago has a population of 2,707,120 [2011]; roughly the number of people who lived between the Rio Grande and the arctic circle in pre-Conquest North America circa 1492. Baltimore, on the other hand, has a mere 621,342 residents [2012]; approximately the population of a Chinese housing project.

Chicago has between 4 and 5 times the population of Baltimore.

Baltimore has criminals who are between 4 and 5 times more lethal!

Is there a corollary? Are we looking at causality or coincidence when we consider the terminal casualties per shooting?

Expiring minds want to know.

As a post script might I suggest that gang-banging be made into a professional sport. Considering the wimpy nature of paintball competition might I further suggest sub-lethal munitions fired from actual weapons, with referees drawn from the Isrаeli Defense Force?

I would be remiss if I failed to nominate Ray Lewis as the Harm City Hood Rat head coach…