I remember watching Conquest of the Planet of the Apes over 40 years ago and wondering how interesting it would be if an American city—at least one—was overrun by 75-IQ chimps with guns, and here it is, before me on video and it seems so bland.

This is the tyranny of youth that occurs when manhood is eradicated and fatherhood is essentially outlawed. It will serve, in the long run, to establish draconian laws governing every aspect of urban life, thus achieving the desired ends.

I do have two observations:

1. The worst job in the ghetto has got to be hiphop videographer, having to stand in front of ten of these stoned assholes while they point guns at you.

2. This entire problem could be solved by making every American speak a paragraph about themselves—a three sentence minimum, and then sterilizing every one of them that says, “know-whadI'msayin’”?