Here is America’s entry into the global theater of the absurd contest for this week: the drunken car-fucker:

“Police in Kansas resorted to using a stun gun to subdue a drunken man who was allegedly attempting to have sex with an automobile, a report says.

The man was found naked and lying underneath a parked vehicle on May 1 in Newton, Kansas, according to a police report. After refusing multiple calls to come out from under the vehicle and surrender, officers used a stun gun to take him into custody, CBS News reported.

Lt. Scott Powell of the Newton Police Department said in his report that the man “was attempting to stick his penis into the tailpipe of the vehicle.”

Officials also reported that the suspect was so inebriated that he was incoherent.”

Yeah. It just proves the old adage, that men will fuck anything when drunk. At least the pipe was cool, and the drunk did not try to tackle a hot motor bike vagina.

Some men will fuck anything when not even drunk. All men will fuck something when either drunk or not drunk… shit … reading that Dr Crank logic chopping material is really fucking me up. Can someone shoot him?