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A Shilleagh for Christmas
Crackpot Mailbox: Mars Ultor and Escaped from Baltimore Discuss Tire Thumping
Mars Ultor commented on Stick Fighting Fundamentals Dec-31-2019 5:32 PM UTC
James, I cant find your email anywhere so I just wanted to post this on a relevant entry. I received a Shilleagh for christmas. As a trucker I'm mainly going to use it as a tire thumper but would like to learn how to use it for defense as well. What would be the best way to try and learn to do so on my own since as an OTR trucker taking lessons isn't really an option.

Sir, I would be honored to advise you on checking the pressure in your 18-wheels, and, just incase you are attacked by air-pressure Nazis or tire rights activists while on the road, this is what I suggest:
Almost all stick-fighting instruction is bullshit that will not help your survival with stick in hand appreciably.
Also, keep a smaller tire thumping device handy for close quarter attacks in your truck cab—we don't want you joining the Reginald Denny Memorial Legion.
Check out the agonistics training videos at this link:
Check out training videos, particularly concerning the T-ball bat and the cane and stick at this youtube channel:
Basically, if you are weaker, in close, or getting swarmed, you need to use a stick that long like a soldier would use a rifle to thrust and club, pushing with one hand and pulling with the other, similar to how marines use pugil sticks in training.
If you are stronger, I suggest putting that thing in your dominant hand, resting it on your shoulder and using the empty hand to stiff-arm and otherwise maintain your space against swarming twerps.
Forearm development is clutch to developing the one-handed ability to wield a stick, bat, cane or other blunt extension weapon with authority.
The blunt extension weapon—like the police riot stick—is all about authority.
You will need to start beating things—even rolled up carpet—with 2-foot long sticks, working up to 3-foot long sticks, without weight on the end, before you start the bat training. If your forearms get sore and hands cramp, wear a carpel tunnel brace at rest or in bed.
Don't damage your Shilleagh hitting bags, use shitty sticks and bats and such for that. Practice missing with your Shilleagh, cutting air and bringing the stick back to your body fluidly from extension while moving. This is called shadow stick, your most important exercise.
Your target should be the collar-bone and neck to avoid killing innocent tire rights activists and air pressure Nazis who might seek to discipline you for tire abuse while on the way to submit their student loan application at the local university. Try and avoid making bodies unless they come at you with a blade, then flatten the side of their head.
For further questions you can always email me at
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Mars UltorJan 1, 2020

Thank you James.

As usual your response was practical, useful, and entertaining as hell.
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