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'To Secure a Hard Copy'
CW from Baltimore wants to Know How He Could Get a Physical Copy of a Book from the Crackpot: Baltimore, 5/9/2022
Good morning Mr. LaFond,
I’d like to secure a hard copy if you have one on hand (I live in Baltimore City), or get you the funds for a POD version.
Got started reading you from @corsair21c on Twitter.  Many thanks.
Sincerely,
-CW

CW, I am very honored that you want a hard copy of one of my books, any of them, even if it is humble, pink-covered Buzz Bunny.
I did answer you by email. But, with this question coming up on a regular basis, it occurred to me, that I am the only author I know of, other than Paul Bingham or Mister Gray, that does not keep copies gotten wholesale, on hand, to sell to readers. Indeed, the self-publishing companies that call me every Monday and Friday, suggest this as the way for a Print On Demand writer to make money: to buy copies at wholesale on the back end of their platform and then sell them in person at book signings and book fairs and such. Indeed Jack Donovan, a successful writer, uses this method, even mailing out books himself after buying entire print runs. A friend of mine who just published a book and is going to buy hundreds to sell to a distributor. The most expensive thing I can buy hundreds of, is cheep beer.
So I understand writers selling their own books, like Sam Finlay, Jeth Randolph and Clark Savage, who all sent me copies of their work.
I once owned 1 copy of every book I had published in print. When I became homeless I gave them away.
Well:
-1. I do not have enough money to buy more than ten copies of any one of my books. I am poor. The U.S. Poverty guideline for 1 person in 2022 is $13,590. After business expenses, I make under $5,000, making me less than half of an American pauper. You might say, that buying books wholesale and marking them up would make me more money. But that would entail a home to store the books in, which would cost me an additional 4,800 dollars a year...
-2. I am not strong enough to carry more than one slim book in my backpack. I even stopped carrying a bible, because editions with big enough print for me to read, weight two pounds and my hernias prevent me from carrying The Lord's Word, let alone his cross.
-3. Finally, I prefer writing books to selling books. Any time I would hypothetically order a box of books, or mail out a single order after walking to a post office, I would have used time enough to write an entire chapter.
-4. Further, not having a smart phone, I am barred from using my own POD Platforms, and cannot order a book if I had the will, and the money, and an actual address, to do so.
CW, even though I have drunk 5 cups of coffee today, I will try not to be too big of a dick and let you know how you could receive a print on demand book from me:
You could buy a book online, however you humans do that, it being not a thing I do, ever, as I deal only in cash. You could then hand it to me at a dive bar in Baltimore. Whereupon I will sign it, date it, inscribe it to you, write a witty comment about our meting place or the writing of the book, and hand it back to you.
Go to to see an updated list of In Print books, including LuLu hardbacks.
CW, thank you for putting up with me.
Also, in case you or another reader discover or divine, or are informed by your Creep State supervising agent, that I am coming to a city near you, you may text Flip the Hero Phone at 443-686-0598 and identify yourself and city, and I will return your text or call you and let you know if and when we could meet. Due to hookers discovering that I am old and still functional and calling me with ideas for expensive and doubtless worthwhile companionship, [1] and book publishers also harassing me, Flip no longer answers unknown phone numbers.
...
Notes
-1. I'm broke, not proud. If you find out I struck it rich, Hanna, or Leslie or Carmine call me back!
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