You came here looking for the truth? You can’t handle the truth!

The truth is you’re stupid and you’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

-Jeremy

You know Jeremy, this is not new news. I always wondered why every time I went to Pennsylvania or Virginia or even Trump forsaken Delaware, why all the women looked so good. Hell, when I go out of town I'm like a one-eyed dog in the proverbial meat market. Last night, when Oliver got back from Italy, he said, "James, I've never seen so many attractive women—I mean really beautiful."

So I clued him in, "That's because you live in Baltimore!"

Thank you, Jeremy, for validating my conviction. Now excuse me while I take a stroll and check out some ugly bitches.