Click to Subscribe
Processional Bad-Asses
The Baddest Men 3 of 3: Postmodern Bad-Ass Viking Age Barbarian Cues the Crackpot on His Heroic Forefathers
© 2021 James LaFond
AUG/21/21
“Who do you rank as all-time bad-ass James?”
Viking Age Barbarian
Ragnaroking by Viking Age Barbarian

For the all-time bad-ass list the #1 criteria is:
-how many men they killed with their own hand = 5-100 points,
-how many men those men killed through leadership = 6-60 points
-how feared they were by their enemies = 4-40 points
with 20 entrants, 200 is the top possible score.
This is someone whose fear must be based on their own combat record and amplified by wider involvement in slaughter. Tyrants like Pol Pot, Stalin, Hitler, who do not kill with their own hands do not make the list.
This procession will skew towards my reading list so should be taken with a salty clot of congealed blood.
The kills are not surely known and this is the main factor in determining combat presence. If it is unknown, then the terror with which he was regarded, will be used to infer his actual combat experience. Known kills and the type of killing will be taken into account, with sniping and the slaughter of the unarmed regarded as fractional to front-line battle and dueling.
This list selects for total fear, not just individual combat ability. I will begin with a chronological listing:
-1. c 200, Roman: Aptus of Alexandria
Thraex gladiator.
Kills: 47
-2. c 700, Frank: Charles the Hammer
Stopped Islamic invasion.
Kills: ?
-3. c 1050, Norse: Harald Hadratta
Mercenary King who died invading England in 1066.
Kills: ?
-4. c 1300, Scott: William Wallace
A lot larger than Mel Gibson.
Kills: 10+
-5. c 1400, Mongol: Tamerlane
Built pyramids of skulls and used a defeated sultan as a foot stool.
Kills: ?
-6. c 1540, Spanish: Soto
Slaughtered more men than any other human with his own hand.
Kills: 2,000 +
-7. c 1640, Japanese: Miyomoto Musashi
Won more lethal duels than any known human. Fought in the last battle of the age of war when 16.
Kills 60 +
-8. c 1750, English: Major Rogers
The “White Devil” who developed Ranger operations.
Kills: 10+
-9. c 1790, American: Lewis Wetzel
Old Death Wind and The Man Whose Gun is Never Empty
Kills: 40 +
-10. c 1800, Haitian, Dessilanes
“Butcher of the Negroes” who had 20-40,000 whites slaughtered and inspired a centuries-long fear of his race in all Caucasian folk
Kills: ?
-11. c 1810, Zulu, Shaka Zulu
Bantu warrior and military innovator.
Kills ?
-12. c 1830, American: James Bowie
Knife-fighter and filibuster.
Kills: 5 +
-13. c 1840, Seminole, Billy Bowlegs
The man who defeated the United States in a war.
Kills: ?
-14. c 1860, Confederate: Nathan Bedford Forest
Most successful U.S. Horse soldier.
Kills: 36
-15. c 1863, Confederate: Captain Jack Hinson
Most successful U.S. Sniper.
Kills: 100 +
-16. c 1870, American: Liver-Eating Johnson
Most notorious Indian fighter of the west.
Kills: 10 +
-17. c 1895 [death], American: John Wesley Harding
Most notorious gunfighter of the west.
Kills: 42
...
Combat Presence
top score is 100
[Who would beat who hand-to-hand, non-firearm combat, correcting for sniping and slaughter of the unarmed in this way. Ties will be broken by best unarmed fighter. Pistols count for more than rifles.]
Includes the top 3 men from the Hellas list:
#3 Dorieus of Rhodes [boxer, pankratiast, naval commander]
#2 Milo of Kroton [wrestler, front-line fighter]
#1 Dioxiphos [pankratiast, front-line-fighter, duelist]
Men from the top of the overall Hellas list are excluded, as personal combat prowess is the criteria for inclusion.
...
#20 Hinson 1 X 5 = 5
#19 Harding 2 X 5 = 10
#18 Bowllegs 3 X 5 = 15
#17 Rogers 4 X 5 = 20
#16 Johnson 5 X 5 = 25
#15 Wetzel 6 X 5 = 30
#14 Martel 7 X 5 = 35
#13 Tamerlane 8 X 5 = 40
#12 Bowie 9 X 5 = 45
#11 Forest 10 X 5 = 50
#10 Dessilanes 11 X 5 = 55
..#9 Shaka 12 X 5 = 60
..#8 Soto 13 X 5 = 65
..#7 Wallace 14 X 5 = 70
..#6 Hadrata 15 X 5 = 75
..#5 Dorieus 16 X 5 = 80
..#4 Milo 17 X 5 = 85
..#3 Dioxiphos 18 X 5 = 90
..#2 Aptus 19 X 5 = 95
..#1 Musashi 20 X 5 = 100
Combat Multiplication
Best, most innovative military leader at his scale, with ties broken according to scale, with larger scale favored.
#20 Aptus 1 X 3 = 3
#19 Harding 2 X 3 = 6
#18 Johnson 3 X 3 = 9
#17 Hinson 4 X 3 = 12
#16 Musashi 5 X 3 = 15
#15 Wetzel 6 X 3 = 18
#14 Milo 7 X 3 = 21
#13 Dioxiphos 8 X 3 = 24
#12 Bowie 9 X 3 = 27
#11 Dorieus 10 X 3 = 30
#10 Bowlegs 11 X 3 = 33
..#9 Martel 12 X 3 = 36
..#8 Dessilanes 13 X 3 = 39
..#7 Hadrata 14 X 3 = 42
..#6 Rogers 15 X 3 = 45
..#5 Wallace 16 X 3 = 48
..#4 Soto 17 X 3 = 51
..#3 Forest 18 X 3 = 54
..#2 Tamerlane 19 X 3 = 57
..#1 Shaka 20 X 3 = 60
Combat Nullification
Most terror inspired by Presence and Multiplication, with presence favored. Johnson, for instance inspired such terror that only the Lakota attacked him and Forest accepted many surrenders from superior forces. Basically, this is your devil score. Note that this comes into play in the less face-to-face combative firearms age. The prime requirement is how often the enemy avoids contact, especially when they outnumber the combatant.
#20 Milo 1 X 2 = 2 [everybody liked him]
#19 Hadrata 2 X 2 = 4 [some Saxon knucklehead said, Harold who?]
#18 Wallace 3 X 2 = 6 [the English kept coming]
#17 Aptus 4 X 2 = 8 [his foes had no choice]
#16 Musashi 5 X 2 = 10 [duelists came from far and wide to die by his hand]
#15 Dorieus 6 X 2 = 12 [released as a POW out of shear respect.]
#14 Dioxiphos 7 X 2 = 14 [was murdered out of fear and shame]
#13 Martel 8 X 2 = 16 [the muzzies did not return]
#12 Tamerlane 9 X 2 = 18 [had to build a lot of skull pyramids]
#11 Shaka 10 X 2 = 20 [had to kill millions of knuckleheads]
#10 Dessilanes 11 X 2 = 22 [we are still afraid of this dead negro.]
..#9 Bowie 12 X 2 = 24 [He was the most feared man of his place and time.]
..#8 Harding 13 X 2 = 26 [Texans avoided this asshole.]
..#7 Bowlegs 14 X 2 = 28 [the U.S. gave him 50 slaves to leave Florida.]
..#6 Rogers 15 X 2 = 30 [they called him The White Devil.]
..#5 Wetzel 16 X 2 = 32 [still feared after his death]
..#4 Hinson 17 x 2 = 34 [single-handedly accepted the surrender of a warship]
..#3 Soto 18 X 2 = 36 [His men had to hide the fact he was dead from the Indians who feared him as a god of death]
..#2 Forest 19 X 2 = 38 [He won half of his battles through instilling enemy fear.]
..#1 Johnson 20 X 2 = 40 [The Blackfeet left him alone when he was trespassing. That's like you stealing Pablo Escobar's cocaine in 1981and him being afraid to send a hit squad. That is bad-ass 101.]
Most Feared Fighting Men in History
Ties will favor larger scale, correcting for the small scale favor shown in the nullification table.
There were no ties.
#20 Harding = 42 ...The worst man on the list: braggart, criminal and man of low character—last among heroes and first among crooks in the chronology.
#19 Hinson = 51 ...Only peace-loving man on the list—killed a dozen men of Harding's evil stripe.
#18 Johnson = 74 ...Most mythologized killer; did not eat livers but did boil skulls and was the biggest fuck-up on the list.
#17 Billy Bowlegs = 76 ...Best tribal combatant in North American history.
#16 Wetzel = 80 ...Best man-hunter on the list.
#15 Martel = 87 ...Had more historical impact with a single act than anyone on the list.
#14 Rogers = 95 ...The only known cannibal on the list.
#13 Bowie = 96 ...Best fighter-inventor.
#12 Aptus = 106 ...Most skilled duelist.
#11 Milo = 108 ...Strongest man in human history.
#10 Tamerlane = 115 ...Caused third most deaths behind Shaka and Genghis Khan and defeated more first rate armies than all but Genghis.
..#9 Dessilanes = 116 ...Killed more whites than any negro, and is second only to Shaka as a killer of negroes.
..#8 Hadratta = 121 ...Most successful mercenary in history.
..#7 Dorieus = 122 ...Most able unarmed fighter.
..#6 Wallace = 124 ...Most hated by the dastard English.
..#5 Musashi = 125 ...Killed the most men in single-combat.
..#4 Dioxiphos = 128 ...The very best man.
..#3 Shaka = 140 ...Caused the death of the most people.
..#2 Forest = 142 ...Most victories against the odds.
..#1 Soto = 152 ...Killed the most men by his own hand in mass combat.
Soto killed the most people, committed numerous genocides and was feared by the inhabitants of two continents. He was also a multiple pandemic super-spreader! Hail Hefe Hernan!
Hellenic Bad-Asses
the man cave
Manny Saprono's Venn Diagram
eBook
hate
eBook
cracker-boy
eBook
logic of force
eBook
time & cosmos
eBook
triumph
eBook
the sunset saga complete
eBook
into leviathan’s maw
eBook
plantation america
Glasgow Ned     Aug 21, 2021

Great list. What about Alexander the Great? You put some gunfighters on your list, what about other men who used guns like WW2 Medal of Honor winners Audie Murphy and John Basilone? Sergeant York? Keep up the great work and stay safe.
  Add a new comment below:
Name
Email
Message