Skinnies!

Written in Association with Montius, who has the print rights

Dust Cover

Kylee can barely believe her eyes. Being the barmaid with the best butt at Side Pockets Billiard Bar is usually a positive experience. But as Tits & Tats, their wet T-shirt champion, turns up the volume on Automated News America, they can hardly believe their eyes. At McConnell Air Force base a few miles away, and Eisenhower Airport, just across the highway, 20,000 military age men from Mogadishu Somalia are being landed in C-130s, 747s, DC 10s, and Atlas Strato-drone transports. Sane people want to flee. But mass transit has been diverted to assist the refugees. Private vehicles have been deactivated by Homeland Security. Thank God Monty Basedstones the Xenohunter has stopped in for a drink! That hyper-reactionary social criminal drives a 1984 Jeep CJ7, a relic from a time when real men and women knew how to ride!

Series Dust Cover

2048 sea drones have rendered surface fleets obsolete. The USG Empire implodes. Yet, it is about time that an evil empire did the right thing. Leaving Africa to the Chinese will result in hard-working Africans having to toil for lower wages. In a last gasp humanitarian effort of cuckhold proportions, USG, employs the ceasefire with the Chinese, along with its surface fleet and still massive Air Force, military and civilian, to transport as many hardworking African men from age 18 to 40 to a nation rich in resources, where the native inhabitants decline to work for a reasonable corporate wage. Skinnies is set in the world of Skulker Jones, American Dreamboat, Ghost Snatchers, the Warriors and Wake Christopher, a future America where automated drones suppress firearms usage, automobile usage is a matter of social credit ratings and “Tradmigration” is the latest social mania.

Dedication

To Carter Obrock

Inspirational Quote

“Sheiiid! I drinks stout now—black beer, hells yes!”

-Rodeo Ron, the black cowboy

Exclaimer

The setting is real, the people actual bar patrons at Side Pockets. Two attractive patrons have been assigned by the author to work behind the bar to protect the identity of the actual employees. Montius and I outlined the novel and cast the characters last night, over boneless chicken wings, tots and beer, at the bar.

-JL, 1/21/26, Wichita, Kansas

Concept

Montius is a huge Robert E. Howard fan with a taste for classic American horror movies. We wanted to outline a story set in the fake & gay near future based on the Conan story Beyond the Black River. As Somalis have been in the news, and one of Montius’ favorite war movies was Black Hawk Down, I suggested we do a Wichita version of American Dreamboat, inspired by seeing C-130s setting down at the local air base. Much of the reason for this novel, was our desire to put his dog, Norman, into fiction in the role of Slasher, the frontier dog in Beyond the Black River possessed of a deep racial hatred for the killers of his master. In that spirit, I thought that a single setting, such as in the movies Tremors and Eight-Legged Freaks, was ideal.

Terminology Notes

Compiled by The Center Of Moral Ecology or COME

1.) Automated News America is an AI news network featuring virtual on the street interviews and news desk reportage, even a wasp-wasted AI weather girl with outrageous proportions to hold the attention of the Murkhan multitude.

2.) AFG is a fascistic acronym for “After Everything Got Fake & Gay,” meaning 2020. So, the events in Skinnies! Takes place in AFG 28, or 2048.

3.) Atlas Strato-Drone, a vast automated humanitarian/military transport than can airlift two bus loads of Tradmigrants.

4.) Tradmigration is the humanitarian act of re-purposing the technology of oppression, such as aircraft carriers, tourist ships, container ships, and military means of all kinds, to facilitate the migration of traditional peoples from exploitation zones to exploiter homelands. Traditional peoples transported in mass in this manner are issued pre-Colonial weapons for ritual purposes and self-defense against xenophobic reactionaries, as well as traditional garb, all manufactured under the best quality working conditions in Bangladesh.

5.) Xenohunters are reactionary criminals protected by their use of sustainable technology not plugged into the Grid, and by the tragic fact that the ignorant and xenophobic population of backwater, flyover and Red Murkha, protect these criminals. Also, law enforcement personnel seem inclined to look the other way when these heartless vigilantes inflict “justice.” This, despite the well-known and oft-reported fact that 56% of violent crimes in America are committed by the 6% of Americans who happen to be white residents of traditional small rural towns!

6.) Second Amendment Drones, in light of the 2042 Supreme Court Ruling in Utah versus Johnson, that the Founding Fathers could not have predicted automatic or hypersonic firearms, are programmed to swam the user of automatic, double-tap semi automatic, or high-powered firearms. The drones use zip-ties, wire saws, nerve gas and gender reassignment suction-augmented scalpels to enforce firearms ordinances.

7.) “Skinnies” or referring to a person of color as a Skinny is a post-colonial slur and racial-economic insult intended to demean Tradmigrant Persons. The use of this, and other slurs named below, are against the law in most American municipalities, enforced by audiodrone deputies. Unfortunately, Wichita, Kansas has no such ordinance. It is hoped that the Tradmigrant Retrovote Act passed by the U.S. Congress in 2038, will address such backward lapses in moral ecology.

8.) Wedgehead, Wedgy, Wedgit are racial slurs directed at Somalis in particular. It is surmised by COME scientists that these terms reflect the jealousy of round-headed and long-headed whites, whose IQ scores have been depressed by fluoride consumption and are unable to reason in the higher, Traditional Spectrum.

9.) Traditional Spectrum or TS, is the actual Intelligence Quotient of Traditional People of Color who avoid consuming toxic dairy and fluoride. Thus, their IQ is multiplied X3, accounting for the failure of spoken and written language to express the higher order of thought possessed by Traditional Persons, and, of course, explaining such ancient monuments as the Great Sphinx and the Pyramids of Giza.

9.) Billaowe, the traditional “peace knife” of Somalia. The blade, is asymetrical and double-edged, intended for decorative and ceremonial use by the peace-loving folk of Somalia. Misnamed a “sword,” it is constructed with a horned hilt with a three-pronged pummel of 7 inches. The purpose of this decorative device is to cut khat and bless host neighbors. It has unfortunately been necessary for some Somali victims of oppression to use this work of art for urgent means.

10.) Khat is an evergreen plant native to the Horn of Africa and Arabia which is chewed to enhance peaceful meditation. Its use will hopefully permit eventual telekinetic interface with the Moon and Mars, negating the need for toxic rocketry.

-Sarah Vingh, Director of Moral Ecology, COME

Contents

1.) Cast & Gear

2.) Tits & Tats

3.) Ass & Brass

4.) Monty Basedstones

5.) Norman’s Grudge

6.) Dallas Black & Rodeo Ron

7.) Wichita Phatz & Willy Mac

8.) Ned & Ted

9.) The Sissy

10.) Maw & Pops